We've ALL done it.
The last minute dash to the store. You don't have time to be there, so you get dropped at the door.
Seriously every event I attend goes like this: already late, grocery store stop, later, my arrival.
So, yeah, sometimes I get DROPPED OFF and PICKED UP at the door. We don't park, but still I hate myself, EVERY time I do it. But, it's for a good cause right?
MY selfish good cause.
I'm an ass for being dropped off, I know it. But, those dick's that don't just drop off? Well, I have a solution.
ANNOUNCING
Dick Parker Towing!
That's right, You park like a dick, you get a towing!
My business plan for Dick Parker Towing includes why WE ARE DIFFERENT, what sets us apart?
Dick Parker Towing is unlike your traditional tow trucks currently over saturating the market. Dick Parker Towing is specifically designed for the Dick Parker. The one that PARKS DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF A STORE. I did not say drop off, although, this too is offensive. What Dick Parker Towing will do for you is get rid of the Dick Parker.
All you have to do is call 1-800-IMA-DICK and for the market value rate of $10.00 One of our attendants will leave his slot at the dumbbells and throw on his Dick Parker shirt and stand next to said offensive vehicle. Our attendants will also LOUDLY and PROUDLY re announce the arrival of the Dick Parker.
For an additional $10 fee our attendants will stand in the front of the store for an hour, to announce future arrivals and departures.
In time Dick Parker Towing will tow those Dick Parkers away.
Not all Dick Parker's will be swayed.
Clearly,
They're DICK's, how else would we expect them to respond?
Thank you for your consideration on this very lucrative business venture.
