OMG!! Did we forget this rule?
Seriously, don't fucking cuss in front of the children! They're susceptible to a lot of things and if you expose them too soon, it can really fuck them up!
Whoa Ranty,
Actually, I feel a need to be Ranty here!
50 shades of grey made our country go BAT SHIT CRAZY!
Seriously, I saw Weathermen AND Cinderella on television talking about WHIPS and being tied up!! Are you fucking kidding me? I don't know how you raise YOUR kid, but mine really does not need to know what S&M and bondage are, just yet.
Ellen thinks my kid should, at least, be informed enough to wonder?
The Today Show (news? ha,ha), thinks she should have enough information, to, ASK the right questions.
Holy shit? Did they say that?
No, they can't, that would be wrong. But, they just stuck it in their face CONSTANTLY and IMPLIED IT, ALL OVER the fucking place!! I wish they had been the only ones. Every Fucking Body on television was doing it???
"What is 50 shades of grey about mommy?" My kiddo asks, after yet, another fucking idiot ADULT on television feels the need to bring it up, in a laughing, fun way. I mean really, you are making it sound fucking FANTASTIC for a kid. Everybody is talking about it and having a great time!! I want that TOO!!
I guide them and point them in the right direction. But, if I point them toward an Adult, I trust, during family time and even THAT PERSON is fucking doing shit I would NEVER CONDONE in my own living room. Who the fuck is left?
When the kids are around, you don't cuss. For the adults who have forgotten this or why we do this, here is a tutorial:
I cuss openly and freely = my kid thinks cussing is okay.
I talk happily and openly about sex and drugs = my kid thinks sex and drugs are okay.
I enjoy smoking = my kid thinks smoking is okay.
The Adult you trust does fucked up shit = my kid thinks fucked up shit is okay.
.... but hey, EVERYBODY'S DOING IT... HEY "Adult", go jump off a bridge, why don't you?
This is NOT OKAY! Some things are to be done and said behind closed doors, and NOT in Front of the Children!!
(It's not that fucking complicated!)
Somedays I comb my hair!
Thursday
Don't Bite the Apple
Once upon a time, in a school far far away, a little girl went to learn how to read, and to write, and add numbers, and live happily ever after.
but alas, it was not meant to be...
An Evil was looming over the little girl! A spell had been cast and she was NOT to live Happily Ever After after ALL.
The Little Girl did not know of this, of course. It was kept a secret. If she ever found out, the spell would be broken, and the Evil would lose hold...
Lucky for Evil, nobody ever told.
The little girl was me. Little, unaware, me.
I would have lived with this Evil my whole life, but I was lucky, the spell was broken.
The spell had a name...
Dyslexia is ME.
I didn't know I was dyslexic, UNTIL I had my own little princess, who has it too.
She went to school one day, like me, and her spell was cast. She, too, was bound to live unhappily ever after. She, too, was unable to read, and write, and do math. She, too, was stupid, lazy, and worthless. She, too, had NO value in this reading world.
How could this be? The world had changed a lot since I was that little girl. Hadn't we all become smarter and more educated? The Educators know. The Schools know. People know. Everyone knows, and understands dyslexia. Right?
NOPE.
Educators and the public "understand" dyslexia. They'll tell you.
(honestly, I thought I knew too!)
They've taken that course, you know, the one, that had that Whole Page on it!
DON'T GET ME WRONG
Good Educators are amazing, underpaid, and undervalued in EVERY aspect in our society.
But, A Bad Educator is a REALLY BAD APPLE!
Well, MY kid, and I got TOO many of those! And So do SO MANY OTHER KIDS.
I think I understand where it stems from... you know, the core (HA!) of the problem..
Educators and The Public are under educated and uninformed about what Dyslexia really IS...
Dyslexia is NOT just turning letters and numbers around, or the words bouncing around on the page!
Dyslexia is an ENTIRE Personality.
Dyslexia is being prone to early ear infections, and being "outdoorsy", and highly intuitive, and living OUT LOUD, and having to "get the wiggles out", and seeing things mostly in pictures (not words), and having a HELL of a time reading, writing, or performing simple math, and so so much more!
Dyslexia is, also, skewed in the media. The public is misinformed. The dyslexics we know a lot about, are, naturally going to be famous for something! AND Usually something GOOD!
In this equation having dyslexia equals a GIFT not Evil! Although, it is acknowledged that not everyone becomes successful, but GEEZ how great the potential is!
THIS is HOW dyslexia is thought of!
NOT TO WORRY, there are special classes, learning techniques, and a kinesthetic learning environment to help so you don't accidentally get chewed up, tossed aside.
Wait... What? Those are not funded for.
Dyslexia is too broad and too many people have it?
There is not money for Dyslexia outright!
What there is, is; work-arounds and under-the-radar fixes to get your kids SOME help. This won't truly address the problem, of course,
and will take a lot of time, and forms, and meetings.
Don't Sweat It! You're kid will languish away while we Get That Done!
There are hoops and juggling acts you get to do to, as a caregiver.
It is GREAT FUN!!
There is just SO much you have to do, just to combat dyslexia.
BUT, What happens WHEN there is NOBODY there to do that for them?
Does Evil take over?
Do you just live with the spell?
Do you become just another rotten apple?
BREAK THE SPELL
Ref. MayoClinic.org
OrtonAcademy.org
dyslexia.com
education.com
but alas, it was not meant to be...
An Evil was looming over the little girl! A spell had been cast and she was NOT to live Happily Ever After after ALL.
The Little Girl did not know of this, of course. It was kept a secret. If she ever found out, the spell would be broken, and the Evil would lose hold...
Lucky for Evil, nobody ever told.
The little girl was me. Little, unaware, me.
I would have lived with this Evil my whole life, but I was lucky, the spell was broken.
The spell had a name...
DYSLEXIA
Dyslexia is ME.
I didn't know I was dyslexic, UNTIL I had my own little princess, who has it too.
She went to school one day, like me, and her spell was cast. She, too, was bound to live unhappily ever after. She, too, was unable to read, and write, and do math. She, too, was stupid, lazy, and worthless. She, too, had NO value in this reading world.
How could this be? The world had changed a lot since I was that little girl. Hadn't we all become smarter and more educated? The Educators know. The Schools know. People know. Everyone knows, and understands dyslexia. Right?
NOPE.
Educators and the public "understand" dyslexia. They'll tell you.
(honestly, I thought I knew too!)
They've taken that course, you know, the one, that had that Whole Page on it!
DON'T GET ME WRONG
Good Educators are amazing, underpaid, and undervalued in EVERY aspect in our society.
But, A Bad Educator is a REALLY BAD APPLE!
Well, MY kid, and I got TOO many of those! And So do SO MANY OTHER KIDS.
I think I understand where it stems from... you know, the core (HA!) of the problem..
Educators and The Public are under educated and uninformed about what Dyslexia really IS...
Dyslexia is NOT just turning letters and numbers around, or the words bouncing around on the page!
Dyslexia is an ENTIRE Personality.
Dyslexia is being prone to early ear infections, and being "outdoorsy", and highly intuitive, and living OUT LOUD, and having to "get the wiggles out", and seeing things mostly in pictures (not words), and having a HELL of a time reading, writing, or performing simple math, and so so much more!
Dyslexia is, also, skewed in the media. The public is misinformed. The dyslexics we know a lot about, are, naturally going to be famous for something! AND Usually something GOOD!
In this equation having dyslexia equals a GIFT not Evil! Although, it is acknowledged that not everyone becomes successful, but GEEZ how great the potential is!
THIS is HOW dyslexia is thought of!
NOT TO WORRY, there are special classes, learning techniques, and a kinesthetic learning environment to help so you don't accidentally get chewed up, tossed aside.
Wait... What? Those are not funded for.
Dyslexia is too broad and too many people have it?
There is not money for Dyslexia outright!
What there is, is; work-arounds and under-the-radar fixes to get your kids SOME help. This won't truly address the problem, of course,
and will take a lot of time, and forms, and meetings.
Don't Sweat It! You're kid will languish away while we Get That Done!
There are hoops and juggling acts you get to do to, as a caregiver.
It is GREAT FUN!!
There is just SO much you have to do, just to combat dyslexia.
BUT, What happens WHEN there is NOBODY there to do that for them?
Does Evil take over?
Do you just live with the spell?
Do you become just another rotten apple?
BREAK THE SPELL
Ref. MayoClinic.org
OrtonAcademy.org
dyslexia.com
education.com
Tuesday
Driving... for the driving impaired...
When I was kid, and a screwed up driver drove by, We'd flip them off and yell, "Sunday Driver!!"
But, high schools OFFERED IT. It was funded!
It was FREE!
I could afford FREE as a teenager!!
DRIVERS ED IS NO LONGER FUNDED IN ALMOST ALL STATES!!
They stopped it!!
a LONG TIME ago... different states have gotten rid of this funding through the years, and I am not entirely sure when it started, and it depends on your state, but I know in California it was back in the early 90's... if my crappy math skills serve, that was a Generation ago!
SO after taking the readily available and FREE education .
What about Trucks? Trucks passing on the left? Who the fuck are they passing? They're slow to begin with!! AND they stop EVEN SLOWER!! They're also really fucking big and VERY hard to get around.
So that's my starter guide for us while the government ignores us... again...
Seriously, do the right thing yourself at least, bone up on your own drivers education, and get pissed about the right things, and petition your State or government to fix this shit!!
Because,
I want You and I to make it to see another Sunday... just sayin'
p.s. click here for the NY DMV Manual
Click here to find your state
None of us knew what this meant, but it was FUCKING hilarious!!
I still don't know what it means, but figure it has something to do with the driver having their mind on church and their head up their ass.
Lately, it seems, you can't get on the road without nearly being killed by an assortment of "sunday drivers".
The roads have gotten CRAZY. What the heck has happened?
Was it always this way?
I don't think so.
What HAS changed?
Well for one, once again, your government gave up on you!!
In the olden days I took driver's education.
I still don't know what it means, but figure it has something to do with the driver having their mind on church and their head up their ass.
Lately, it seems, you can't get on the road without nearly being killed by an assortment of "sunday drivers".
The roads have gotten CRAZY. What the heck has happened?
Was it always this way?
I don't think so.
What HAS changed?
Well for one, once again, your government gave up on you!!
In the olden days I took driver's education.
IN SCHOOL.
We ALL did.
It was (and is) a REQUIREMENT, if you wanted a license before 18.
It was (and is) a REQUIREMENT, if you wanted a license before 18.
But, high schools OFFERED IT. It was funded!
It was FREE!
I could afford FREE as a teenager!!
DRIVERS ED IS NO LONGER FUNDED IN ALMOST ALL STATES!!
They stopped it!!
a LONG TIME ago... different states have gotten rid of this funding through the years, and I am not entirely sure when it started, and it depends on your state, but I know in California it was back in the early 90's... if my crappy math skills serve, that was a Generation ago!
SO after taking the readily available and FREE education .
We, then, got our permit and drove under the watchful, white knuckled, guidance of our poor, fraught parents or some other licensed victim.
NOWADAYS, if you can't afford drivers training, or don't have time for it OUT of school, people just opt out of early driving and early permits.
You'll just have to wait 'til your 18.
At age 18 you need to take a written and driven test...
But hey, the governnment has made this EASY ... (this is not sarcasm, I wish it were)
Seriously, Don't Worry because you can take it over and over until you pass!!!
The driving test? Don't Worry Again, because you now have as many chances as you like to take the driving test too! You can even try to find a lenient tester if you want!! Easy, easy easy!!
Once this is done you get to strap that 4000 lb. piece of metal to your ass and HAVE AT IT!!
hmm...
Our Cars, these days are, more safe.
Our Roads, these days, are more safe.
Our Drivers.... NOPE.
These uneducated, under-trained, and un-supervised drivers are really freaking me out!!
The roads have turned into a free-for-all!!
It is not CASUAL etiquette to
NOT PASS ON THE RIGHT
it is fucking dangerous, and THE LAW
NOWADAYS, if you can't afford drivers training, or don't have time for it OUT of school, people just opt out of early driving and early permits.
You'll just have to wait 'til your 18.
At age 18 you need to take a written and driven test...
But hey, the governnment has made this EASY ... (this is not sarcasm, I wish it were)
Seriously, Don't Worry because you can take it over and over until you pass!!!
The driving test? Don't Worry Again, because you now have as many chances as you like to take the driving test too! You can even try to find a lenient tester if you want!! Easy, easy easy!!
Once this is done you get to strap that 4000 lb. piece of metal to your ass and HAVE AT IT!!
hmm...
Our Cars, these days are, more safe.
Our Roads, these days, are more safe.
Our Drivers.... NOPE.
These uneducated, under-trained, and un-supervised drivers are really freaking me out!!
The roads have turned into a free-for-all!!
It is not CASUAL etiquette to
NOT PASS ON THE RIGHT
it is fucking dangerous, and THE LAW
SERIOUSLY, DON'T DO IT! Unless you HAVE TOO!!
Pass ONLY on the Left
and then, move the fuck over, for the next guy!
how about closure rates? Does anyone even know what that means anymore?
IT means, if you follow too close, You're likely going to RUN INTO SOMETHING if it stops!! Cars don't run into things well.
Pass ONLY on the Left
and then, move the fuck over, for the next guy!
how about closure rates? Does anyone even know what that means anymore?
IT means, if you follow too close, You're likely going to RUN INTO SOMETHING if it stops!! Cars don't run into things well.
What about Trucks? Trucks passing on the left? Who the fuck are they passing? They're slow to begin with!! AND they stop EVEN SLOWER!! They're also really fucking big and VERY hard to get around.
So that's my starter guide for us while the government ignores us... again...
Seriously, do the right thing yourself at least, bone up on your own drivers education, and get pissed about the right things, and petition your State or government to fix this shit!!
Because,
I want You and I to make it to see another Sunday... just sayin'
p.s. click here for the NY DMV Manual
Click here to find your state
Sunday
Feminism and Shitty Mom's
I know we are all supposed to be all for one and one for all in the old chick department these days. But, what about the shitty moms? Do we just ignore that? As long as you're cool, and your kid is cool, that's cool. I don't think that's cool!!?? Just because you're cool. I'm cool. I'm cool enough to tell my kids FUCK NO! They're cool. They're cool enough to have to settle for nothing less. They're not our cool friends. Their our future leaders and makers(and butchers and bakers and... HA!)
Be cool on your own fucking time...
and
YES We are all for one and one for all, so STOP MAKING US LOOK SO BAD!!
and
it's cool if you fucked up before, but come on now...
Be cool on your own fucking time...
and
YES We are all for one and one for all, so STOP MAKING US LOOK SO BAD!!
and
it's cool if you fucked up before, but come on now...
John Travolta's Ass
I've always had theme songs running through my head. I mean, for whatever situation is at hand I've carried around a couple of snippets of songs in my head the serve as my, in the moment, theme beat. I don't know if everybody does this or if this is just one more thing about myself that is wacky? ANyway, these are what go on in my head and I guess inspire me to keep on movin...
Staying Alive - The Bee Gee's
"I've been kicked around since I was born. Now it's alright. It's okay. And you may look the other way...."
Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple
"Be kind to me or treat me mean. I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine."
Bitch - Meredith Brooks
"I'm a bitch. I'm a lover. I'm a child. I'm a mother. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. I do not feel ashamed"
Beautiful -Written by Linda Perry
Sung By Christina Aguilara
"I am beautiful in every single way. Yes, words can't bring me down. So you don't bring me down today."
It's just easier to stay motivated when you have an image of Vinny Barbarino's tight polyester ass in your mind...
Maybe that's just me too...
Staying Alive - The Bee Gee's
"I've been kicked around since I was born. Now it's alright. It's okay. And you may look the other way...."
Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple
"Be kind to me or treat me mean. I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine."
Bitch - Meredith Brooks
"I'm a bitch. I'm a lover. I'm a child. I'm a mother. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. I do not feel ashamed"
Beautiful -Written by Linda Perry
Sung By Christina Aguilara
"I am beautiful in every single way. Yes, words can't bring me down. So you don't bring me down today."
It's just easier to stay motivated when you have an image of Vinny Barbarino's tight polyester ass in your mind...
Maybe that's just me too...
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