We've ALL done it.
The last minute dash to the store. You don't have time to be there, so you get dropped at the door.
Seriously every event I attend goes like this: already late, grocery store stop, later, my arrival.
So, yeah, sometimes I get DROPPED OFF and PICKED UP at the door. We don't park, but still I hate myself, EVERY time I do it. But, it's for a good cause right?
MY selfish good cause.
I'm an ass for being dropped off, I know it. But, those dick's that don't just drop off? Well, I have a solution.
ANNOUNCING
Dick Parker Towing!
That's right, You park like a dick, you get a towing!
My business plan for Dick Parker Towing includes why WE ARE DIFFERENT, what sets us apart?
Dick Parker Towing is unlike your traditional tow trucks currently over saturating the market. Dick Parker Towing is specifically designed for the Dick Parker. The one that PARKS DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF A STORE. I did not say drop off, although, this too is offensive. What Dick Parker Towing will do for you is get rid of the Dick Parker.
All you have to do is call 1-800-IMA-DICK and for the market value rate of $10.00 One of our attendants will leave his slot at the dumbbells and throw on his Dick Parker shirt and stand next to said offensive vehicle. Our attendants will also LOUDLY and PROUDLY re announce the arrival of the Dick Parker.
For an additional $10 fee our attendants will stand in the front of the store for an hour, to announce future arrivals and departures.
In time Dick Parker Towing will tow those Dick Parkers away.
Not all Dick Parker's will be swayed.
Clearly,
They're DICK's, how else would we expect them to respond?
Thank you for your consideration on this very lucrative business venture.
Somedays I comb my hair!
Friday
Thursday
Democratic Oligarchy
Work needs to get done. Complaining needs to stop. Punishments need to be doled out.
You need a strong political system to manage your country.
Without one your country will fall apart. You may end up with Anarchy or TEARS!
This little island I govern, is run as a Democratic Oligarchy.
The lay people (the kids) have the democratic right to vote on EVERYTHING.
If they work together, majority WILL RULE.
UNLESS they make a decision I don't agree with. Then *KAPOW* Oligarchy!
I just overrule and deny THE PEOPLE any rights to decide.
SO easy!
I can run my home this way. I pay all the bills. I never had to be voted "in" and the little people have no impeachment power.
One day they'll catch on, but until then I'll continue my Tyranny.
The USA is a little different.
The big rock we live on is ruled as a Federal Republic.
so like, all the states get to make their own choices about their stuff, but they totally belong to the whole group. The group is bossed around by important words written on important paper.
It's kinda like that.
So, your body is the ruler, but your parts can work independently to get their jobs done, and your brain is in charge.
It's been known to work.
Occasionally, things go haywire.
You know your brain decided to stop listening to the belly state and continue to fill it with chips.
Then, the knee state protests after it has to carry the weight of the belly state.
Then the face state decides to ignore everyone and use excess money to insure it will be around later with our without the belly or knee state. That's right baby, a face lift!
We don't need a face lift!
We need a workout!
The knees are bad. We better start slow. But, we're hella fat, so we better get on it!
We need to get BACK to work, we need to start communicating, laws need to be adjusted and USED.
or continue to enjoy your
Democratic Oligarchy.
ref.
THE WORLD FACT BOOK
You need a strong political system to manage your country.
Without one your country will fall apart. You may end up with Anarchy or TEARS!
This little island I govern, is run as a Democratic Oligarchy.
The lay people (the kids) have the democratic right to vote on EVERYTHING.
If they work together, majority WILL RULE.
UNLESS they make a decision I don't agree with. Then *KAPOW* Oligarchy!
I just overrule and deny THE PEOPLE any rights to decide.
SO easy!
I can run my home this way. I pay all the bills. I never had to be voted "in" and the little people have no impeachment power.
One day they'll catch on, but until then I'll continue my Tyranny.
The USA is a little different.
The big rock we live on is ruled as a Federal Republic.
so like, all the states get to make their own choices about their stuff, but they totally belong to the whole group. The group is bossed around by important words written on important paper.
It's kinda like that.
So, your body is the ruler, but your parts can work independently to get their jobs done, and your brain is in charge.
It's been known to work.
Occasionally, things go haywire.
You know your brain decided to stop listening to the belly state and continue to fill it with chips.
Then, the knee state protests after it has to carry the weight of the belly state.
Then the face state decides to ignore everyone and use excess money to insure it will be around later with our without the belly or knee state. That's right baby, a face lift!
We don't need a face lift!
We need a workout!
The knees are bad. We better start slow. But, we're hella fat, so we better get on it!
We need to get BACK to work, we need to start communicating, laws need to be adjusted and USED.
or continue to enjoy your
Democratic Oligarchy.
ref.
THE WORLD FACT BOOK
Monday
Yamamoto
In times of war brilliant people say brilliant things. They say these brilliant things to justify their inane actions.
I'm not a pacifist. But, our current militant bordering on anarchist mind set has got to stop somewhere.
The very misquoted quote, "I fear all we have done is to waken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve," is a prime example of such.
The quote is attributed to a Japanese General during their fight with America.
It was widely used after September 11th to justify our means for revenge.
It is again what is going on in the Middle East.
I fear all we have done is waken an Arab Nation and fill him with a NEED for it's own revenge.
We need to pack our shit and get the fuck out.
We are getting more tightly embroiled in conflict we neither started nor will ever understand wholly. THEY don't even understand it wholly anymore.
Bring our kids home. Batten down the hatches and get ready. Here on our soil.
I know. We fight there, so we don't have to here.
Bullshit.
We fight there because we don't have the balls to end it once and for all,
or put our tail between our legs and haul our asses home.
The brilliant dude responsible for this quote thought he was the giant.
Unfortunately, for him, We Were. Our soldiers put a cap in his ass, and as for his ideology? You can read a history book for that. Let's just say, it didn't turn out well.
Just sayin'
Who's the giant this time?
I'm not a pacifist. But, our current militant bordering on anarchist mind set has got to stop somewhere.
The very misquoted quote, "I fear all we have done is to waken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve," is a prime example of such.
The quote is attributed to a Japanese General during their fight with America.
It was widely used after September 11th to justify our means for revenge.
It is again what is going on in the Middle East.
I fear all we have done is waken an Arab Nation and fill him with a NEED for it's own revenge.
We need to pack our shit and get the fuck out.
We are getting more tightly embroiled in conflict we neither started nor will ever understand wholly. THEY don't even understand it wholly anymore.
Bring our kids home. Batten down the hatches and get ready. Here on our soil.
I know. We fight there, so we don't have to here.
Bullshit.
We fight there because we don't have the balls to end it once and for all,
or put our tail between our legs and haul our asses home.
The brilliant dude responsible for this quote thought he was the giant.
Unfortunately, for him, We Were. Our soldiers put a cap in his ass, and as for his ideology? You can read a history book for that. Let's just say, it didn't turn out well.
Just sayin'
Who's the giant this time?
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