I won't back down...

I don't have the umph in me today to say anything, but I wanted to be clear I made it here today. I will be back tomorrow with an actual paragraph or more even!

Ass in gear and elephants and fleas

I have to decide whether I should tell my friends about my blog or not? I just told my significant other tonight. I waited 2 years and pokily posted and finally told one person close to me about it. This means I am committed to getting my ass in gear and post regularly. My question to myself is whether or not I should, then, tell my friends about my scribbles?
This brings me to my elephant and flea conundrum I have. I am a myriad of different ideas, of course, who isn't? But the confident side of the me waxes and wains from elephant to flea. I am confident about who I am and what I want and who the hell and what the hell and all the other stuff I am confident about. I am confident my previous sentence is a fucked up mess!! I am and elephant of confidence when it comes to that business in my life. When I expose my life and specifically my art I become a flea of confidence. One single negative comment, from somebody I care about, makes me potentially drop the whole project. I am retarded.

The F Word

I totally love the word Fuck! I fucking love it! I have long stood by while this word has been shunned by my fellow female. I had to endure the years of, "the right kind of woman" not saying or at least understanding my zest for this fucking word.
I fucking love the fact that fuck is slowing drifting into our vernacular. All you fucks are slowly embracing fuck, as a word to revere, not revolt!!
Fuck, I am fucking proud to have spearheaded the canonization of fuck.

Insomnia

I have had serious insomnia for so so long. I think, likely, my whole life. I have never embraced it. I have fought it. I think this is a bad idea.
I am going to embrace it and try to get my lazy ass out of bed to do something when I CANNOT sleep.
I have made that statement, in my brain, so many times before. I say I will do this most often when I am laying in bed trying to fall asleep.
I am going to give this embracing a real try. (to the tune of "You better, you bet.) You betcha, you betcha, you bet....

Sentences....

My kids rock! I just felt I wanted to start with that.
My amazing angels have had bouts of being ridiculously naughty through the years. I have made them write sentences reflecting their negetive behavior and an action to fix the behavior. Well, my little one told her father I keep making her write, "pointless sentences". She told him I make her, "write sentences over and over about the same thing that doesn't even make any sense."
Clearly this kid needs more sentences.

Detox

My body is seriously going through detox!! It never occured to me how going off my prescription medication is like detoxing from any other long term used substance. Holy crap, does it suck! I can literally feel this junk leaving my body and I feel mostly terrible.
Over it... I just decided to stop bitching about this here and now.
I am detoxing though and it is different than I expected... pst., and not my fav :)