I'm on a break.
Don't go cheating on me.
We're just on a break!!
Somedays I comb my hair!
Thursday
Wednesday
Pot Holes
Weeds are inevitable
At some point they pop up and you treat them.
If they get out of control, you may end up with a real problem you can't fix.
You'll be stuck with weeds.
When I look at how the economy is going I see the weeds growing.
More than see it, I feel it.
KABAM!
Fucking Pot Holes!
Those things are EVERYWHERE!!
They ARE, if your economy is fucked up.
Our economy is fucked up.
It's not that there isn't enough money, it's that it's being weeded out to ridiculous places.
It's being poured into holes.
And not the right ones!
Pot Holes are an indication of a much larger problem.
They're sending us a message.
Weed out the bullshit spending or we're gonna end up in a hole we can't get out of.
Cut Pork
Pork
At some point they pop up and you treat them.
If they get out of control, you may end up with a real problem you can't fix.
You'll be stuck with weeds.
When I look at how the economy is going I see the weeds growing.
More than see it, I feel it.
KABAM!
Fucking Pot Holes!
Those things are EVERYWHERE!!
They ARE, if your economy is fucked up.
Our economy is fucked up.
It's not that there isn't enough money, it's that it's being weeded out to ridiculous places.
It's being poured into holes.
And not the right ones!
Pot Holes are an indication of a much larger problem.
They're sending us a message.
Weed out the bullshit spending or we're gonna end up in a hole we can't get out of.
Cut Pork
Pork
Tuesday
Dirty Cop
"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - George Orwell
Cops are Dirty.
Our police force is primarily dirty.
Right?
This is what we keep hearing from ALL the protesting.
"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level then beat you with experience." - Mark Twain
The Dirty Cop narrative works for a lot of people.
It works the same way when I fart and blame it on the dog.
Who wants to be responsible for bad behavior?
You can look at pimps to preachers and know, not many.
"I didn't want to hurt anyone. I only wanted to kill them." - Son of Sam
When a person goes bad what do you do?
Give them more hugs?
psstt.... I have a secret ....
Hugs don't work on these guys.
"We've got to have rules, and obey them, after all we're not savages" - William Golding
Some people are savages.
They just are.
They don't want to be governed by rules.
They prefer chaos.
It suits their need.
"Chaos is the law of nature; Order was the dream of man." - Henry Adams
Chaos can grow. Easily. It can become anarchy.
It does ALL the time.
Riots are anarchy.
Murder is anarchy.
Terrorism is anarchy.
Without law we have anarchy.
Sometimes law goes astray and becomes the anarchist.
Anyone living in a repressed society can tell you that.
Well they would, if they were allowed too.
Usually they are not.
They are not because they are being ruled by chaos and chaos likes this.
"A concept is a brick. It can be used to build a courthouse. Or it can be thrown through a window." - Gilles Deleuze
The United States of America was founded on freedom and law, not chaos.
The mere fact that I am typing this or that people can protest is proof.
You can speak up. You can be heard.
There are dirty cops. A few. They need to go, in the right way.
If we, as a society, out of frustration, turn to anarchy instead of law, we will not make it.
"Where there is no law, there is no freedom" - John Locke
The anarchist wants this.
Stop giving it to them.
Cops are Dirty.
Our police force is primarily dirty.
Right?
This is what we keep hearing from ALL the protesting.
"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level then beat you with experience." - Mark Twain
The Dirty Cop narrative works for a lot of people.
It works the same way when I fart and blame it on the dog.
Who wants to be responsible for bad behavior?
You can look at pimps to preachers and know, not many.
"I didn't want to hurt anyone. I only wanted to kill them." - Son of Sam
When a person goes bad what do you do?
Give them more hugs?
psstt.... I have a secret ....
Hugs don't work on these guys.
"We've got to have rules, and obey them, after all we're not savages" - William Golding
Some people are savages.
They just are.
They don't want to be governed by rules.
They prefer chaos.
It suits their need.
"Chaos is the law of nature; Order was the dream of man." - Henry Adams
Chaos can grow. Easily. It can become anarchy.
It does ALL the time.
Riots are anarchy.
Murder is anarchy.
Terrorism is anarchy.
Without law we have anarchy.
Sometimes law goes astray and becomes the anarchist.
Anyone living in a repressed society can tell you that.
Well they would, if they were allowed too.
Usually they are not.
They are not because they are being ruled by chaos and chaos likes this.
"A concept is a brick. It can be used to build a courthouse. Or it can be thrown through a window." - Gilles Deleuze
The United States of America was founded on freedom and law, not chaos.
The mere fact that I am typing this or that people can protest is proof.
You can speak up. You can be heard.
There are dirty cops. A few. They need to go, in the right way.
If we, as a society, out of frustration, turn to anarchy instead of law, we will not make it.
"Where there is no law, there is no freedom" - John Locke
Stop giving it to them.
Stop being stupid.
Before you lose the ability to have the choice.
Before you lose the ability to have the choice.
Friday
Drama Queen
The chicken or the egg?
Which came first?
I can really break my brain trying to solve that one.
So fuck it, I can't declare.
At some point in my life, early on, Mom started referring to me as a "drama queen".
She didn't say it with admiration.
The rest of the family picked it up soon enough.
So, amongst them, I will always be a "drama queen".
I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't think I earned my title, I was feisty as fuck!
I used to be ashamed of this.
I also used to be confused about this?
Like, which came first? The Title or Me?
Then I had a mini ME.
And, just as mom had always hoped for, I got one just like me.
She's feisty as fuck!
I could maybe call her a drama queen?
But, that wouldn't even scrape the surface about who she is.
She is a handful with the biggest heart I have ever seen.
She is strong and confident and scared shit less.
She is beautiful and interesting.
She is going to rule the world one day.
That's my kid.
NOT my drama queen.
My KID :)
I'm not a DRAMA QUEEN either.
Two words could NEVER define me.
I'm a lot of things, but dramatic is not one of them.
I don't do things for effect.
for D R A M A (jazz hands)
I do things because they're right and I stand up for them.
I can, and will back down when I am wrong.
Not always,
I'm not perfect.
But, I try.
I look for solutions and answers and FUCK YEAH, I speak up about them.
Which often makes me look like a bitch,
or to the outsider a drama queen.
It's hard.
But, it's who I am.
I am no longer ashamed or confused about this part of me.
And my baby WILL NEVER BE!
She's she.
and
I'm ME.
Which came first?
I can really break my brain trying to solve that one.
So fuck it, I can't declare.
At some point in my life, early on, Mom started referring to me as a "drama queen".
She didn't say it with admiration.
The rest of the family picked it up soon enough.
So, amongst them, I will always be a "drama queen".
I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't think I earned my title, I was feisty as fuck!
A real pain in the ass.
I still am.
I also used to be confused about this?
Like, which came first? The Title or Me?
Then I had a mini ME.
And, just as mom had always hoped for, I got one just like me.
She's feisty as fuck!
I could maybe call her a drama queen?
But, that wouldn't even scrape the surface about who she is.
She is a handful with the biggest heart I have ever seen.
She is strong and confident and scared shit less.
She is beautiful and interesting.
She is going to rule the world one day.
That's my kid.
NOT my drama queen.
My KID :)
I'm not a DRAMA QUEEN either.
Two words could NEVER define me.
I'm a lot of things, but dramatic is not one of them.
I don't do things for effect.
for D R A M A (jazz hands)
I do things because they're right and I stand up for them.
I can, and will back down when I am wrong.
Not always,
I'm not perfect.
But, I try.
I look for solutions and answers and FUCK YEAH, I speak up about them.
Which often makes me look like a bitch,
or to the outsider a drama queen.
It's hard.
But, it's who I am.
I am no longer ashamed or confused about this part of me.
And my baby WILL NEVER BE!
She's she.
and
I'm ME.
Wednesday
Last Hit
This goofy little blog I'm up too is a direct result of trauma I went through.
That's how I roll.
Life gives me lemons. I make Chicken Piccata with capers and lovely butter sauce.
I can't give up. I can't give in. I just keep trying.
I played a KICK ASS game as a kid with my little brother.
We affectionately referred to it as the "last hit" game.
Whoever got the "last hit" was the reigning winner, until the next "last hit".
A soft sly hit was the MOST productive, but if you really wanted to win, the key was to NEVER QUIT.
Never give up.
I've never given up.
I want to sometimes.
I Never will.
Many people have uttered this mantra.
I've uttered it a million times.
Words are nice. They help you cope.
Who the FUCK wants to just cope?
Copers are victims.
DOers are not.
I can't cope.
I have to DO.
I had the benefit of a lot of trauma in childhood, so I got good at this.
I learned how to NOT COPE, but DO.
DO SOMETHING!
Sometimes I let my guard down.
Sometimes I get tired.
But, I don't quit.
If I quit the "last hit", my little pain in the butt brother would win.
Can't have that!
This game may still be going on today.
If I ever see my little brother again, I'm gonna hug him,
SO I can slap him in the back of the head.
So I can get the "LAST HIT".
I have to.
I can't quit.
That's how I roll.
Life gives me lemons. I make Chicken Piccata with capers and lovely butter sauce.
I can't give up. I can't give in. I just keep trying.
I played a KICK ASS game as a kid with my little brother.
We affectionately referred to it as the "last hit" game.
Whoever got the "last hit" was the reigning winner, until the next "last hit".
A soft sly hit was the MOST productive, but if you really wanted to win, the key was to NEVER QUIT.
Never give up.
I've never given up.
I want to sometimes.
I Never will.
Many people have uttered this mantra.
I've uttered it a million times.
Words are nice. They help you cope.
Who the FUCK wants to just cope?
Copers are victims.
DOers are not.
I can't cope.
I have to DO.
I had the benefit of a lot of trauma in childhood, so I got good at this.
I learned how to NOT COPE, but DO.
DO SOMETHING!
Sometimes I let my guard down.
Sometimes I get tired.
But, I don't quit.
If I quit the "last hit", my little pain in the butt brother would win.
Can't have that!
This game may still be going on today.
If I ever see my little brother again, I'm gonna hug him,
SO I can slap him in the back of the head.
So I can get the "LAST HIT".
I have to.
I can't quit.
Friday
Joyful Child
I hope you NEVER forget the names of our Murdered Children.
Children abducted, raped, murdered. How is that possible?
I am ashamed of my country every time a child is murdered.
We ALL should be!
WE don't do shit about it!
How many marches have there been for murdered children?
One day this beautiful, joyful, little girl was alive.
The next day she was sexually assaulted and buried alive!
He was caught and thrown in jail. Forever. Living his life in jail.
Not dead. In the ground forever. Like his little victim.
He had been charged earlier with similar crimes. He got a slap on wrist.
He was "registered" as a sex offender and therefore "monitored".
You can't moniter all those people!
WE also can't keep letting them practice! The whole, "attempted" line in any charge is CRAZY!
So they ATTEMPTED to do harm, but were not good enough to succeed, so we don't charge them as harshly? What kind of crap logic is that?
You try ANYTHING with a child? Prison for life! (I'd prefer the death penalty)
That's IT! Why is that complicated?
It's complicated because the touchy feely types want hugs for all.
They're hearts are in the right places, but their reasoning IS NOT!
How do you reason with incomprehension? You can't! What these perpetrators do IS INCOMPREHENSIBLE! You will never understand it. You will NEVER reason with it. It can't be worked with.
How many more is it going to take?
How much more freedom are we going to lose?
They're winning.
Look at the streets.
No more kids.
How Shameful.
AN INCONCLUSIVE LIST
OF THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE
Dylan Groene
Amber Hagerman
Tina Marie Harmon
Krista Lea Harrison
Vicki Lynne Hoskinson
Shauna Howe
Sherrice Iverson
Samuel Jimmy Ryce
Michelle Rogers
Christie Rogers
Marie Ridulph
JonBenet Ramsey
Mary Elizabeth Quigley
Holly Christen Piirainen
Michaela Petit
Etan Patz
Elyse Pahler
Samantha Runnion
Jessica Lunsford
Destiny Anne Norton
Lisa Ann Millican
Amy Mihaljevic
Leiby Kletzky
Charlie Alan Keever
Johnathan Lee Sellers
Megan Kanka
Polly Klass
Tammy Jo Alexander
Carmen Colon
Wanda Walkowicz
Michelle Maenza
Samantha Runnion
Molly Bish
Nubia Barahona
Barbara Ann Barnes
Christopher Michael Barrios
James Glass
Danny Yates
Randell Harvey
David Helligiest
Gregory Malley Winkle
Mark Scott
Billy Baulch
Johny Delome
Steven Sickman
Wally Jay Simoneaux
Richard Hembree
Joseph Lyles
William Ray Lawrence
Homer Garcia
John Sellers
Michael Baulch
Charles Cory Cobble
James Drymala
Brenda Sue Brown
Carlie Brucia
Sandra Renee Cantu
Heather Dawn Church
Rocio Delpilar Sperry
Marcy Renee Conrad
Amber Creek
Deanna J. Cremin
Deanna Criswell
Stephanie Crow
Dolores Della Penna
Jesse William Dirkhising
Jaclyn Marie Dowaliby
Amber Dubois
Eclutna Annie
Michelle Dorr
Riley Fox
Levi Frady
Jetseta Marie Gage
Michelle Angela Garvey
Barbara Grimes
Patricia Grimes
thejoyfulchild.org
wikipedia.org Murdered_American_children
Children abducted, raped, murdered. How is that possible?
I am ashamed of my country every time a child is murdered.
We ALL should be!
WE don't do shit about it!
How many marches have there been for murdered children?
One day this beautiful, joyful, little girl was alive.
The next day she was sexually assaulted and buried alive!
He was caught and thrown in jail. Forever. Living his life in jail.
Not dead. In the ground forever. Like his little victim.
He had been charged earlier with similar crimes. He got a slap on wrist.
He was "registered" as a sex offender and therefore "monitored".
You can't moniter all those people!
WE also can't keep letting them practice! The whole, "attempted" line in any charge is CRAZY!
So they ATTEMPTED to do harm, but were not good enough to succeed, so we don't charge them as harshly? What kind of crap logic is that?
You try ANYTHING with a child? Prison for life! (I'd prefer the death penalty)
That's IT! Why is that complicated?
It's complicated because the touchy feely types want hugs for all.
They're hearts are in the right places, but their reasoning IS NOT!
How do you reason with incomprehension? You can't! What these perpetrators do IS INCOMPREHENSIBLE! You will never understand it. You will NEVER reason with it. It can't be worked with.
How many more is it going to take?
How much more freedom are we going to lose?
They're winning.
Look at the streets.
No more kids.
How Shameful.
AN INCONCLUSIVE LIST
OF THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE
Dylan Groene
Amber Hagerman
Tina Marie Harmon
Krista Lea Harrison
Vicki Lynne Hoskinson
Shauna Howe
Sherrice Iverson
Samuel Jimmy Ryce
Michelle Rogers
Christie Rogers
Marie Ridulph
JonBenet Ramsey
Mary Elizabeth Quigley
Holly Christen Piirainen
Michaela Petit
Etan Patz
Elyse Pahler
Samantha Runnion
Jessica Lunsford
Destiny Anne Norton
Lisa Ann Millican
Amy Mihaljevic
Leiby Kletzky
Charlie Alan Keever
Johnathan Lee Sellers
Megan Kanka
Polly Klass
Tammy Jo Alexander
Carmen Colon
Wanda Walkowicz
Michelle Maenza
Samantha Runnion
Molly Bish
Nubia Barahona
Barbara Ann Barnes
Christopher Michael Barrios
James Glass
Danny Yates
Randell Harvey
David Helligiest
Gregory Malley Winkle
Mark Scott
Billy Baulch
Johny Delome
Steven Sickman
Wally Jay Simoneaux
Richard Hembree
Joseph Lyles
William Ray Lawrence
Homer Garcia
John Sellers
Michael Baulch
Charles Cory Cobble
James Drymala
Brenda Sue Brown
Carlie Brucia
Sandra Renee Cantu
Heather Dawn Church
Rocio Delpilar Sperry
Marcy Renee Conrad
Amber Creek
Deanna J. Cremin
Deanna Criswell
Stephanie Crow
Dolores Della Penna
Jesse William Dirkhising
Jaclyn Marie Dowaliby
Amber Dubois
Eclutna Annie
Michelle Dorr
Riley Fox
Levi Frady
Jetseta Marie Gage
Michelle Angela Garvey
Barbara Grimes
Patricia Grimes
thejoyfulchild.org
wikipedia.org Murdered_American_children
Wednesday
Gently Mashed
You ever watch M*A*S*H*?
Growing up, it was a pretty good substitute for parents.
I watched that show religiously!
Those guys taught me morals and work ethic, what jackasses your coworkers can be, and that dumb chicks talk in high voices. They were a wealth of guidance!
I think as a kid I was suppose to relate to RADAR, but I've always just been so very Hawkeye.
Lots of people think they're Hawkeye. He's the rage against the machine. The "Do not go gentle into that good night". He's the boat rocker. Lots of people feel a need to rage, not go gentle, or rock the boat. You should, but you need an anchor. Because as it turns out, Hawkeye was none of these and you shouldn't be either.
Hawkeye was forced into his situation and he was clear about his hate for it.
He was anti EVERYThing "the man" was about. So what did he do? Fight back? Retaliate? LEAVE?
Nope, he stuck.
He stuck around and made his truly bad situation the best he could.
He made it better for himself, but more importantly, he made it better for those around him.
Rocking the boat is fine. As long as you can RIGHT it again. Otherwise, you're just all wet.
So go ahead rage rage against the dying light, but just make sure you take care of those around you, ALRIGHT?
www.poets.org dylan thomas
www.tv.com mash
Growing up, it was a pretty good substitute for parents.
I watched that show religiously!
Those guys taught me morals and work ethic, what jackasses your coworkers can be, and that dumb chicks talk in high voices. They were a wealth of guidance!
I think as a kid I was suppose to relate to RADAR, but I've always just been so very Hawkeye.
Lots of people think they're Hawkeye. He's the rage against the machine. The "Do not go gentle into that good night". He's the boat rocker. Lots of people feel a need to rage, not go gentle, or rock the boat. You should, but you need an anchor. Because as it turns out, Hawkeye was none of these and you shouldn't be either.
Hawkeye was forced into his situation and he was clear about his hate for it.
He was anti EVERYThing "the man" was about. So what did he do? Fight back? Retaliate? LEAVE?
Nope, he stuck.
He stuck around and made his truly bad situation the best he could.
He made it better for himself, but more importantly, he made it better for those around him.
Rocking the boat is fine. As long as you can RIGHT it again. Otherwise, you're just all wet.
So go ahead rage rage against the dying light, but just make sure you take care of those around you, ALRIGHT?
www.poets.org dylan thomas
www.tv.com mash
Tuesday
Pro Bullying
We need to face it,
Anti-Bullying in this country will NEVER succeed until we eliminate the double standards in our adult world.
FOLLOW ME!!! I'm Nice!
or
FOLLOW ME!! I'm gonna punch people in the face and take their money.
Who would you choose?
EVERYONE says they'll choose the first guy, but everyone ACTUALLY follows the second guy.
There are examples EVERYWHERE!
Ourselves, Our leaders, Our stars, Our monsters... all of them, if they have power or money, we'll follow.
We tell our kids otherwise, but they know.
How many of you look up to or kiss the ass of the rich a-hole at your kids school? Some of you have jobs you should be ashamed of, but it makes you good money, so there you go. Your kid sees it. You choose to buy the products from these bullies and justify it somehow. We re-elect leaders we KNOW have done shady things.
Our leaders slander each other and fight incessantly. They don't get along and they make it known. They make up BS laws or add things on to push their agenda. They don't care if they hurt us, or if we agree, they only care to stay on top. AND we let them do it!
Our entertainment choices are becoming increasingly oversexualize, violent, and power hungry. Do we put the CD or remote down. Apparently not.
We even let the monsters in this country do it to us! Our monsters get notoriety, fame, LOVE LETTERS!
Our kids understand. They get it. They follow suit.
I have the solution.
Debate needs to be implemented in the schools and at home.
If we can talk to each other we can solve problems.
Art needs to come back in the schools and in our children's lives. If you can create, you will no longer have to be a slave to these amatures.
We need a tabula rasa in the government.
A blank slate. We need everything wiped cleaned. It's absurd to think of, but it's more absurd where we are and there is no other choice.
If we don't? The bullies will not only prevail, they will continue to thrive and GROW.
We WILL be overrun.
Nobody cares enough yet in the United States to stop bullying really, because we have money and power.
The Anti-Bullying initiative will never succeed.
We may as well face it.
Anti-Bullying in this country will NEVER succeed until we eliminate the double standards in our adult world.
FOLLOW ME!!! I'm Nice!
or
FOLLOW ME!! I'm gonna punch people in the face and take their money.
Who would you choose?
EVERYONE says they'll choose the first guy, but everyone ACTUALLY follows the second guy.
There are examples EVERYWHERE!
Ourselves, Our leaders, Our stars, Our monsters... all of them, if they have power or money, we'll follow.
We tell our kids otherwise, but they know.
How many of you look up to or kiss the ass of the rich a-hole at your kids school? Some of you have jobs you should be ashamed of, but it makes you good money, so there you go. Your kid sees it. You choose to buy the products from these bullies and justify it somehow. We re-elect leaders we KNOW have done shady things.
Our leaders slander each other and fight incessantly. They don't get along and they make it known. They make up BS laws or add things on to push their agenda. They don't care if they hurt us, or if we agree, they only care to stay on top. AND we let them do it!
Our entertainment choices are becoming increasingly oversexualize, violent, and power hungry. Do we put the CD or remote down. Apparently not.
We even let the monsters in this country do it to us! Our monsters get notoriety, fame, LOVE LETTERS!
Our kids understand. They get it. They follow suit.
I have the solution.
Debate needs to be implemented in the schools and at home.
If we can talk to each other we can solve problems.
Art needs to come back in the schools and in our children's lives. If you can create, you will no longer have to be a slave to these amatures.
We need a tabula rasa in the government.
A blank slate. We need everything wiped cleaned. It's absurd to think of, but it's more absurd where we are and there is no other choice.
If we don't? The bullies will not only prevail, they will continue to thrive and GROW.
We WILL be overrun.
Nobody cares enough yet in the United States to stop bullying really, because we have money and power.
The Anti-Bullying initiative will never succeed.
We may as well face it.
Friday
Dick Parker
We've ALL done it.
The last minute dash to the store. You don't have time to be there, so you get dropped at the door.
Seriously every event I attend goes like this: already late, grocery store stop, later, my arrival.
So, yeah, sometimes I get DROPPED OFF and PICKED UP at the door. We don't park, but still I hate myself, EVERY time I do it. But, it's for a good cause right?
MY selfish good cause.
I'm an ass for being dropped off, I know it. But, those dick's that don't just drop off? Well, I have a solution.
ANNOUNCING
Dick Parker Towing!
That's right, You park like a dick, you get a towing!
My business plan for Dick Parker Towing includes why WE ARE DIFFERENT, what sets us apart?
Dick Parker Towing is unlike your traditional tow trucks currently over saturating the market. Dick Parker Towing is specifically designed for the Dick Parker. The one that PARKS DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF A STORE. I did not say drop off, although, this too is offensive. What Dick Parker Towing will do for you is get rid of the Dick Parker.
All you have to do is call 1-800-IMA-DICK and for the market value rate of $10.00 One of our attendants will leave his slot at the dumbbells and throw on his Dick Parker shirt and stand next to said offensive vehicle. Our attendants will also LOUDLY and PROUDLY re announce the arrival of the Dick Parker.
For an additional $10 fee our attendants will stand in the front of the store for an hour, to announce future arrivals and departures.
In time Dick Parker Towing will tow those Dick Parkers away.
Not all Dick Parker's will be swayed.
Clearly,
They're DICK's, how else would we expect them to respond?
Thank you for your consideration on this very lucrative business venture.
The last minute dash to the store. You don't have time to be there, so you get dropped at the door.
Seriously every event I attend goes like this: already late, grocery store stop, later, my arrival.
So, yeah, sometimes I get DROPPED OFF and PICKED UP at the door. We don't park, but still I hate myself, EVERY time I do it. But, it's for a good cause right?
MY selfish good cause.
I'm an ass for being dropped off, I know it. But, those dick's that don't just drop off? Well, I have a solution.
ANNOUNCING
Dick Parker Towing!
That's right, You park like a dick, you get a towing!
My business plan for Dick Parker Towing includes why WE ARE DIFFERENT, what sets us apart?
Dick Parker Towing is unlike your traditional tow trucks currently over saturating the market. Dick Parker Towing is specifically designed for the Dick Parker. The one that PARKS DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF A STORE. I did not say drop off, although, this too is offensive. What Dick Parker Towing will do for you is get rid of the Dick Parker.
All you have to do is call 1-800-IMA-DICK and for the market value rate of $10.00 One of our attendants will leave his slot at the dumbbells and throw on his Dick Parker shirt and stand next to said offensive vehicle. Our attendants will also LOUDLY and PROUDLY re announce the arrival of the Dick Parker.
For an additional $10 fee our attendants will stand in the front of the store for an hour, to announce future arrivals and departures.
In time Dick Parker Towing will tow those Dick Parkers away.
Not all Dick Parker's will be swayed.
Clearly,
They're DICK's, how else would we expect them to respond?
Thank you for your consideration on this very lucrative business venture.
Thursday
Democratic Oligarchy
Work needs to get done. Complaining needs to stop. Punishments need to be doled out.
You need a strong political system to manage your country.
Without one your country will fall apart. You may end up with Anarchy or TEARS!
This little island I govern, is run as a Democratic Oligarchy.
The lay people (the kids) have the democratic right to vote on EVERYTHING.
If they work together, majority WILL RULE.
UNLESS they make a decision I don't agree with. Then *KAPOW* Oligarchy!
I just overrule and deny THE PEOPLE any rights to decide.
SO easy!
I can run my home this way. I pay all the bills. I never had to be voted "in" and the little people have no impeachment power.
One day they'll catch on, but until then I'll continue my Tyranny.
The USA is a little different.
The big rock we live on is ruled as a Federal Republic.
so like, all the states get to make their own choices about their stuff, but they totally belong to the whole group. The group is bossed around by important words written on important paper.
It's kinda like that.
So, your body is the ruler, but your parts can work independently to get their jobs done, and your brain is in charge.
It's been known to work.
Occasionally, things go haywire.
You know your brain decided to stop listening to the belly state and continue to fill it with chips.
Then, the knee state protests after it has to carry the weight of the belly state.
Then the face state decides to ignore everyone and use excess money to insure it will be around later with our without the belly or knee state. That's right baby, a face lift!
We don't need a face lift!
We need a workout!
The knees are bad. We better start slow. But, we're hella fat, so we better get on it!
We need to get BACK to work, we need to start communicating, laws need to be adjusted and USED.
or continue to enjoy your
Democratic Oligarchy.
ref.
THE WORLD FACT BOOK
You need a strong political system to manage your country.
Without one your country will fall apart. You may end up with Anarchy or TEARS!
This little island I govern, is run as a Democratic Oligarchy.
The lay people (the kids) have the democratic right to vote on EVERYTHING.
If they work together, majority WILL RULE.
UNLESS they make a decision I don't agree with. Then *KAPOW* Oligarchy!
I just overrule and deny THE PEOPLE any rights to decide.
SO easy!
I can run my home this way. I pay all the bills. I never had to be voted "in" and the little people have no impeachment power.
One day they'll catch on, but until then I'll continue my Tyranny.
The USA is a little different.
The big rock we live on is ruled as a Federal Republic.
so like, all the states get to make their own choices about their stuff, but they totally belong to the whole group. The group is bossed around by important words written on important paper.
It's kinda like that.
So, your body is the ruler, but your parts can work independently to get their jobs done, and your brain is in charge.
It's been known to work.
Occasionally, things go haywire.
You know your brain decided to stop listening to the belly state and continue to fill it with chips.
Then, the knee state protests after it has to carry the weight of the belly state.
Then the face state decides to ignore everyone and use excess money to insure it will be around later with our without the belly or knee state. That's right baby, a face lift!
We don't need a face lift!
We need a workout!
The knees are bad. We better start slow. But, we're hella fat, so we better get on it!
We need to get BACK to work, we need to start communicating, laws need to be adjusted and USED.
or continue to enjoy your
Democratic Oligarchy.
ref.
THE WORLD FACT BOOK
Monday
Yamamoto
In times of war brilliant people say brilliant things. They say these brilliant things to justify their inane actions.
I'm not a pacifist. But, our current militant bordering on anarchist mind set has got to stop somewhere.
The very misquoted quote, "I fear all we have done is to waken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve," is a prime example of such.
The quote is attributed to a Japanese General during their fight with America.
It was widely used after September 11th to justify our means for revenge.
It is again what is going on in the Middle East.
I fear all we have done is waken an Arab Nation and fill him with a NEED for it's own revenge.
We need to pack our shit and get the fuck out.
We are getting more tightly embroiled in conflict we neither started nor will ever understand wholly. THEY don't even understand it wholly anymore.
Bring our kids home. Batten down the hatches and get ready. Here on our soil.
I know. We fight there, so we don't have to here.
Bullshit.
We fight there because we don't have the balls to end it once and for all,
or put our tail between our legs and haul our asses home.
The brilliant dude responsible for this quote thought he was the giant.
Unfortunately, for him, We Were. Our soldiers put a cap in his ass, and as for his ideology? You can read a history book for that. Let's just say, it didn't turn out well.
Just sayin'
Who's the giant this time?
I'm not a pacifist. But, our current militant bordering on anarchist mind set has got to stop somewhere.
The very misquoted quote, "I fear all we have done is to waken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve," is a prime example of such.
The quote is attributed to a Japanese General during their fight with America.
It was widely used after September 11th to justify our means for revenge.
It is again what is going on in the Middle East.
I fear all we have done is waken an Arab Nation and fill him with a NEED for it's own revenge.
We need to pack our shit and get the fuck out.
We are getting more tightly embroiled in conflict we neither started nor will ever understand wholly. THEY don't even understand it wholly anymore.
Bring our kids home. Batten down the hatches and get ready. Here on our soil.
I know. We fight there, so we don't have to here.
Bullshit.
We fight there because we don't have the balls to end it once and for all,
or put our tail between our legs and haul our asses home.
The brilliant dude responsible for this quote thought he was the giant.
Unfortunately, for him, We Were. Our soldiers put a cap in his ass, and as for his ideology? You can read a history book for that. Let's just say, it didn't turn out well.
Just sayin'
Who's the giant this time?
Thursday
Cleared to Land
My passion does not lie in aviation, but my heart does.
I will always love the sky and aircraft because of my life as an Air Traffic Controller. I really don't miss it though.
You name the type plane, I've likely worked that craft. I worked military to commercial jets and everything in between. My favorite will always be the F-15's in Japan. Sorry, I'm partial to those fighting COCKS. I love a good Huey or Black hawk too, but they're fun to watch, not control. The best and nicest pilots came from, now defunct, Aloha Airlines and also the German Air Force.
I have some real doozies to tell about what went on in the sky. Like one time when the Foo Fighters flew into Roswell to do an impromptu concert. I controlled the two planes carrying all the "lucky recipients" of such a concert. My two pilots thought it was great fun racing each other to the airport and so they did. Those SO B's were all over the sky. Knuckle heads. This was never really dangerous, but just sayin', there is a lot more tom foolery that goes on in those skies than you realize.
The skies are a bit crazy. There are a lot of people up there who don't know their up from their down, but that's never stopped these go-getter's! It's nuts. One time during my ATC career my husband was working at a mental hospital. He and I swapped equally insane stories. It wasn't uncommon for me to one up him. It's the wild west up there.
Before becoming an Air Traffic Controller I had wanted to learn to fly. After, I did not. That's all I have to say about that.
Aviation has given me so much freedom and joy in both my professional and personal life. I may "Oh shit" the handrail every time, but I'm still grateful.
My heart is in the skies and today, it is heavy. Another aircraft has gone down. Another mystery is under way.
It is a parent and a controllers worst nightmare for an aircraft to go down.
My heart is heavy and my hope is for answers.
I say a little prayer to you... goodnight GermanWings and all other craft before and after you. You were loved. You will be missed.
I will always love the sky and aircraft because of my life as an Air Traffic Controller. I really don't miss it though.
You name the type plane, I've likely worked that craft. I worked military to commercial jets and everything in between. My favorite will always be the F-15's in Japan. Sorry, I'm partial to those fighting COCKS. I love a good Huey or Black hawk too, but they're fun to watch, not control. The best and nicest pilots came from, now defunct, Aloha Airlines and also the German Air Force.
I have some real doozies to tell about what went on in the sky. Like one time when the Foo Fighters flew into Roswell to do an impromptu concert. I controlled the two planes carrying all the "lucky recipients" of such a concert. My two pilots thought it was great fun racing each other to the airport and so they did. Those SO B's were all over the sky. Knuckle heads. This was never really dangerous, but just sayin', there is a lot more tom foolery that goes on in those skies than you realize.
The skies are a bit crazy. There are a lot of people up there who don't know their up from their down, but that's never stopped these go-getter's! It's nuts. One time during my ATC career my husband was working at a mental hospital. He and I swapped equally insane stories. It wasn't uncommon for me to one up him. It's the wild west up there.
Before becoming an Air Traffic Controller I had wanted to learn to fly. After, I did not. That's all I have to say about that.
Aviation has given me so much freedom and joy in both my professional and personal life. I may "Oh shit" the handrail every time, but I'm still grateful.
My heart is in the skies and today, it is heavy. Another aircraft has gone down. Another mystery is under way.
It is a parent and a controllers worst nightmare for an aircraft to go down.
My heart is heavy and my hope is for answers.
I say a little prayer to you... goodnight GermanWings and all other craft before and after you. You were loved. You will be missed.
Monday
Pelada
Clunk...
that was the sound of the ah ah lava rock as is bounced off my head. I reached up to feel the lump growing and found a puddle. I pulled my fingers from my head to the front of my face. The red oozed down my my middle and index finger. My first thought was revenge! My second thought was, "that kid has another rock!"
"I'm Telling!!!" I yelled as I darted into the house. My little brother's face went white as he turned to try and catch me for negotiations.
He was not successful in his attempt, Luckily.
This moment in my life triggered more than a headache and a pretty likely spanking.
This was the moment it was declared, "THAT'S IT! You kids NEED a sport!!"
Hallelujah!!
This was where my soccer career began.
I found my strength and pride on the field. I was something to be reckoned with (truth be told, the whole damn family was excellent at it!). I'd had no power in my life before, yet I was boss on the field. Simply, soccer saved my life.
Soccer is my airplane. I have moved around the country and the world, with no fear ever, because I have soccer. I will always find somebody to play the sport. I have always found friends through the game. I have been invited into new communities and cultures through the game.
Soccer is a game of family and generations. I have played against 7 year olds and 70 year olds, and gotten my butt kicked both ways! Luckily, the 70 year olds usually want a drink after the game.
Soccer is a game of tradition. It is somewhat traditional to have that drink after the game, but it is more traditional to sit down and connect as you prepare to play or leave the game. You have to talk to these people and figure each other out. There are no boundaries in soccer.
Soccer doesn't care what color or size you are. You wear a jersey or penny or t-shirt to let the others know whose team you're on. This is your label for the game. Nobody cares that you're purple, but they care if you're lazy.
Soccer forces you to not be lazy. You can be lame, but you can't be lazy. Working your ass off is just part of the sport. There is no, "waiting for your turn". You're up the moment the whistle blows, and you better run. If you can still run.
Soccer is for everybody. You may not be able to run anymore, but if you have legs you can move. There are enough fakes, and tricks in the game you can just pull off a quick Maradona and be on your way. Or, the position of goalie is usually available for the crazy or those wishing they can be lazy. No matter what, you will learn to perform.
Soccer teaches. Communication is key to the game. Talking to your teammates opens up lines of communication and travel for that ball. You have to work together and you'll figure that out with a quickness when faced with a bombarding opponent. Finding your strength will come with one quick or lucky move.
Soccer, luckily, changed my life and my path. It enhanced my life and made me a better person. It channeled energy that may have otherwise gonna toward revenge and turned it into teamwork and strength.
Soccer enhanced my life. Soccer gave me the travel, family, tradition, strength, and power I did not have in my home life.
Simply, Soccer saved my life and I don't think I'm the only one.
pelada-movie
that was the sound of the ah ah lava rock as is bounced off my head. I reached up to feel the lump growing and found a puddle. I pulled my fingers from my head to the front of my face. The red oozed down my my middle and index finger. My first thought was revenge! My second thought was, "that kid has another rock!"
"I'm Telling!!!" I yelled as I darted into the house. My little brother's face went white as he turned to try and catch me for negotiations.
He was not successful in his attempt, Luckily.
This moment in my life triggered more than a headache and a pretty likely spanking.
This was the moment it was declared, "THAT'S IT! You kids NEED a sport!!"
Hallelujah!!
This was where my soccer career began.
I found my strength and pride on the field. I was something to be reckoned with (truth be told, the whole damn family was excellent at it!). I'd had no power in my life before, yet I was boss on the field. Simply, soccer saved my life.
Soccer is my airplane. I have moved around the country and the world, with no fear ever, because I have soccer. I will always find somebody to play the sport. I have always found friends through the game. I have been invited into new communities and cultures through the game.
Soccer is a game of family and generations. I have played against 7 year olds and 70 year olds, and gotten my butt kicked both ways! Luckily, the 70 year olds usually want a drink after the game.
Soccer is a game of tradition. It is somewhat traditional to have that drink after the game, but it is more traditional to sit down and connect as you prepare to play or leave the game. You have to talk to these people and figure each other out. There are no boundaries in soccer.
Soccer doesn't care what color or size you are. You wear a jersey or penny or t-shirt to let the others know whose team you're on. This is your label for the game. Nobody cares that you're purple, but they care if you're lazy.
Soccer forces you to not be lazy. You can be lame, but you can't be lazy. Working your ass off is just part of the sport. There is no, "waiting for your turn". You're up the moment the whistle blows, and you better run. If you can still run.
Soccer is for everybody. You may not be able to run anymore, but if you have legs you can move. There are enough fakes, and tricks in the game you can just pull off a quick Maradona and be on your way. Or, the position of goalie is usually available for the crazy or those wishing they can be lazy. No matter what, you will learn to perform.
Soccer teaches. Communication is key to the game. Talking to your teammates opens up lines of communication and travel for that ball. You have to work together and you'll figure that out with a quickness when faced with a bombarding opponent. Finding your strength will come with one quick or lucky move.
Soccer, luckily, changed my life and my path. It enhanced my life and made me a better person. It channeled energy that may have otherwise gonna toward revenge and turned it into teamwork and strength.
Soccer enhanced my life. Soccer gave me the travel, family, tradition, strength, and power I did not have in my home life.
Simply, Soccer saved my life and I don't think I'm the only one.
pelada-movie
Friday
Subtle Hint
This goes out to the guys.
I've had primarily male friends the majority of my life, so I'm assuming at least one of you Assholes reads me.
Men lack subtly, like me.
Men's inability to read subtly is why I'm here, for my ladies, to club you Mother Effer's in the head, for them.
Listen Up Boys...
It's a fact. You like us ladies. You have too. We're softer than you, and, despite all your hardness, You Like Soft.
Keep Us Ladies Happy by doing ONE THING...
TAKE YOUR LADIES OUT
It doesn't matter where you go or what you do (well, some of you I worry extra hard about here), but get them the fuck out!
AND, NO, the Home Depot is not OUT.
Look, you knuckle heads, ladies need the same things a flower needs, (we're fucking delicate) a little sunlight and fresh air.
Take your gal OUT, on trip to the grocery store to pick fabulous food items for YOU TO COOK, for her. Ladies like parks, and walks, and dinner, and museums, and getting the fuck out of the house.
Can I be anymore clear?
I don't know,
Sometimes you need to be clubbed over the head.
Men are not the best with subtly.
I'm gonna wrap this up now, because I also know, you dudes can't be expected to pay attention to "chick shit" for too long either!
HA! I love my boys!!
I've had primarily male friends the majority of my life, so I'm assuming at least one of you Assholes reads me.
Men lack subtly, like me.
Men's inability to read subtly is why I'm here, for my ladies, to club you Mother Effer's in the head, for them.
Listen Up Boys...
It's a fact. You like us ladies. You have too. We're softer than you, and, despite all your hardness, You Like Soft.
TAKE YOUR LADIES OUT
It doesn't matter where you go or what you do (well, some of you I worry extra hard about here), but get them the fuck out!
AND, NO, the Home Depot is not OUT.
Look, you knuckle heads, ladies need the same things a flower needs, (we're fucking delicate) a little sunlight and fresh air.
Take your gal OUT, on trip to the grocery store to pick fabulous food items for YOU TO COOK, for her. Ladies like parks, and walks, and dinner, and museums, and getting the fuck out of the house.
Can I be anymore clear?
I don't know,
Sometimes you need to be clubbed over the head.
Men are not the best with subtly.
I'm gonna wrap this up now, because I also know, you dudes can't be expected to pay attention to "chick shit" for too long either!
HA! I love my boys!!
Thursday
Dark Overlord
ssshhhh....
I didn't want to have to do this, BUT
If you are receiving this, it is likely already too late...
The Dark overlords have taken over.
Open YOUR EYES people!!
examples are everywhere...
You've seen it... I know it...
They make us pay astronomical prices to "adopt" their foot soldiers.
I have tried to trace the money, but it is moved too quickly, and it is a NEVER Ending supply. They just send out an entire new crew of soldiers to be "adopted" again! They just keep coming!!!
They then work to wear you down and make you divulge your secrets. You are put in a room and forced to fill out miles and miles of paperwork. If the paperwork does not lull you into submission, they WILL send out an inspector.
The inspector comes to your home to verify you will be a "good fit". This is what they will say. What They ARE doing is surveying your home as a possible landing zone. A jumping off point for the rest of their mission.
Once they infiltrate our homes the indoctrination program begins.
They slowly teach you how to care and house them, and you'll be willing. Then, before you know it, BAM!!! They will have you trained!
I know this sounds crazy, but they will actually have you follow them around town (as they continue to survey and observe) picking up their poop!!! I know, crazy!!
I've seen it done!!
You will be forced to pick up their poo AND THEN, they will MAKE YOU wrap it!!
They don't stop there, the entire time you will think you are doing it for you!!!
They are good.
I am here to warn you...
.....
.....
......Hello? Is somebody there?
....AAAHHHHHH!!!!!....
Help me D.OH.G one you're my only hope...
I didn't want to have to do this, BUT
If you are receiving this, it is likely already too late...
The Dark overlords have taken over.
Open YOUR EYES people!!
examples are everywhere...
You've seen it... I know it...
They make us pay astronomical prices to "adopt" their foot soldiers.
I have tried to trace the money, but it is moved too quickly, and it is a NEVER Ending supply. They just send out an entire new crew of soldiers to be "adopted" again! They just keep coming!!!
They then work to wear you down and make you divulge your secrets. You are put in a room and forced to fill out miles and miles of paperwork. If the paperwork does not lull you into submission, they WILL send out an inspector.
The inspector comes to your home to verify you will be a "good fit". This is what they will say. What They ARE doing is surveying your home as a possible landing zone. A jumping off point for the rest of their mission.
Once they infiltrate our homes the indoctrination program begins.
They slowly teach you how to care and house them, and you'll be willing. Then, before you know it, BAM!!! They will have you trained!
I know this sounds crazy, but they will actually have you follow them around town (as they continue to survey and observe) picking up their poop!!! I know, crazy!!
I've seen it done!!
You will be forced to pick up their poo AND THEN, they will MAKE YOU wrap it!!
They don't stop there, the entire time you will think you are doing it for you!!!
They are good.
I am here to warn you...
.....
.....
......Hello? Is somebody there?
....AAAHHHHHH!!!!!....
Help me D.OH.G one you're my only hope...
Wednesday
Milburn
I love my kiddo's and enjoy telling them stories. It's a good thing since they're pretty insistent.
So this may come off as self gratuitous, if you feel that, I'm sorry. I just love this little guy and I want him to be known.
I do have a children's book published.
Sounds fancy, OOHHH... AAAAhhhh.... fan fair...
Not really.
I will likely never make any money from it.
The market is over saturated, Hollywood has taken over the world with ghost writers to ensure they keep their fame going even in writing (seriously, snooki has a "book"?), I don't know or do beans about marketing, and maybe the story is boring?...
I don't know why, and I don't care anymore.
I don't care because, no matter what, I still love my guy Milburn...
Milburn is an old English name.
The Macaroni penguin was named by English sailors in the 18th century.
These sailors spotted the penguins and decided they looked like maccaroni.
That IS maccaroni, and it doesn't stand for the pasta.
You see, these English sailors thought, "he's so fancy, you already know", that they wanted to name him after a song!
No, not that song...
They actually equated this level of fancy to their day's metrosexuals!
Let me explain better,
The song Yankee Doodle is about these so fancy guys, too!
"...stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni."
This line refers to the American soldier's being so fashion challenged, they would actually make this tiny gesture of sticking a mere a feather in their cap and then dare call themselves as high fashion as the young, rich, aristocratic, Englishmen of the time, the maccoronis. Those damn Yankees!
Not to be outdone by these Englishmen though, Milburn has his own sense of fashion and daringly wears his bright red scarf to all penguin functions.
Milburn is frightful. He's got a lot on his mind. Wouldn't you be if you were near extinction?
He's a kid. He wanders off and he forgets to eat. KIDS!!
His mind is filled with the scary things that are natural to his environment. They're all part of a delicate chain and they're all becoming endangered. How's that for scary.
Milburn's favorite meal is krill. The Macaroni Penguin's favorite meal is krill, at least until they get a sushi bar, I'm sure.
Milburn's mommy loves him. The Macaroni Penguin lives in a tight family.
SO here is my little fella...
Milburn the Macaroni Penguin is my sweet little fancy pants.
I'm his mommy too, and I love him.
I also love Dax my Bedraggled Donkey and my The Little One... Maybe one day they'll get out there?
Maybe one day my kiddo's will do something about them... they are becoming quite the artist's and I do need illustrators...
Maybe I'm being too self gratuitous again.
or Maybe not.
OR
Maybe they will only be known by my kiddo's, because I'm their mommy and I love them too and I really love to tell them stories.
So this may come off as self gratuitous, if you feel that, I'm sorry. I just love this little guy and I want him to be known.
I do have a children's book published.
Sounds fancy, OOHHH... AAAAhhhh.... fan fair...
Not really.
I will likely never make any money from it.
The market is over saturated, Hollywood has taken over the world with ghost writers to ensure they keep their fame going even in writing (seriously, snooki has a "book"?), I don't know or do beans about marketing, and maybe the story is boring?...
I don't know why, and I don't care anymore.
I don't care because, no matter what, I still love my guy Milburn...
Milburn is an old English name.
The Macaroni penguin was named by English sailors in the 18th century.
These sailors spotted the penguins and decided they looked like maccaroni.
That IS maccaroni, and it doesn't stand for the pasta.
You see, these English sailors thought, "he's so fancy, you already know", that they wanted to name him after a song!
No, not that song...
They actually equated this level of fancy to their day's metrosexuals!
Let me explain better,
The song Yankee Doodle is about these so fancy guys, too!
"...stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni."
This line refers to the American soldier's being so fashion challenged, they would actually make this tiny gesture of sticking a mere a feather in their cap and then dare call themselves as high fashion as the young, rich, aristocratic, Englishmen of the time, the maccoronis. Those damn Yankees!
Not to be outdone by these Englishmen though, Milburn has his own sense of fashion and daringly wears his bright red scarf to all penguin functions.
Milburn is frightful. He's got a lot on his mind. Wouldn't you be if you were near extinction?
He's a kid. He wanders off and he forgets to eat. KIDS!!
His mind is filled with the scary things that are natural to his environment. They're all part of a delicate chain and they're all becoming endangered. How's that for scary.
Milburn's favorite meal is krill. The Macaroni Penguin's favorite meal is krill, at least until they get a sushi bar, I'm sure.
Milburn's mommy loves him. The Macaroni Penguin lives in a tight family.
SO here is my little fella...
Milburn the Macaroni Penguin is my sweet little fancy pants.
I'm his mommy too, and I love him.
I also love Dax my Bedraggled Donkey and my The Little One... Maybe one day they'll get out there?
Maybe one day my kiddo's will do something about them... they are becoming quite the artist's and I do need illustrators...
Maybe I'm being too self gratuitous again.
or Maybe not.
OR
Maybe they will only be known by my kiddo's, because I'm their mommy and I love them too and I really love to tell them stories.
Tuesday
Home On The Range
Home, home on the range...
... Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, and the sky is not cloudy all day...
Ahh, the open air, the freedom of solitude out on the range.
When my little one was new to the talking game, I tried out a joke with her, she would deliver my punchline.
"Honey, how much cents do you have?" I would ask
"No sense at all," she would respond.
She could have been a fantastic party trick for me!
The husband cut me off. He wouldn't let me use the kiddo as a punchline. So annoying!
Actually, thank god he was there.
I've been there for him too.
We're a team.
Raising kids makes rustling cows look easy, not to mention the smell!
There is no solitude in raising kids.
I hitched my wagon to a good cowboy.
Some people hitch their wagons wrong.
They "get hitched" to dogs, chickens, or bulls, or worst yet, a jackass.
This is not only sad, it makes no sense?
You're gonna be home on that range for a long time, why would you choose to be there with a lame duck?
Choose a good parent.
"Choose a good daddy."
This is my new punchline to my kiddo's life.
Me -"How will you know he's a good man to marry?"
Kiddo's - "Choose a good daddy!"
A good daddy will want to be a good husband to keep his little home on the range not cloudy all day.
It just makes cents.
... Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, and the sky is not cloudy all day...
Ahh, the open air, the freedom of solitude out on the range.
When my little one was new to the talking game, I tried out a joke with her, she would deliver my punchline.
"Honey, how much cents do you have?" I would ask
"No sense at all," she would respond.
She could have been a fantastic party trick for me!
The husband cut me off. He wouldn't let me use the kiddo as a punchline. So annoying!
Actually, thank god he was there.
I've been there for him too.
We're a team.
Raising kids makes rustling cows look easy, not to mention the smell!
There is no solitude in raising kids.
I hitched my wagon to a good cowboy.
Some people hitch their wagons wrong.
They "get hitched" to dogs, chickens, or bulls, or worst yet, a jackass.
This is not only sad, it makes no sense?
You're gonna be home on that range for a long time, why would you choose to be there with a lame duck?
Choose a good parent.
"Choose a good daddy."
This is my new punchline to my kiddo's life.
Me -"How will you know he's a good man to marry?"
Kiddo's - "Choose a good daddy!"
A good daddy will want to be a good husband to keep his little home on the range not cloudy all day.
It just makes cents.
Monday
Me a Sitcom
Fade in:
Introduction. Cold
Open, Bathroom -- Afternoon
Camera is fixed on
screaming mouth of mother outside bathroom door.
“You don’t have the guts!”
She continues to taunt, “why don’t you just do it already! Put us all out of our
misery.”
Camera view changes to the inside of the bathroom,
We see a young girl
staring at herself in the mirror. The camera view changes to the perspective of
the girl, Our Hero, she is staring at her face in the mirror. Her arms are down
near the sink, out of view.
“Fuck you, I will.” She
whispers once to herself and then yells it at the top of her lungs.
She makes slicing motions
in the direction of her wrists out of view still.
The camera pans down to Our Hero’s wrists where you can see her trying over and over to slice her wrists
with a lady bic, it does nothing. The camera fads.
(laughter)
Scene 2 Bathroom,
to hallway, to bedroom – A while later that same day
We watch as Our Hero looks
out the bathroom door to ensure the coast is clear, then sneaks from the bathroom, to
the hall, to her bedroom. Her door closes extremely quietly behind her.
Scene 3 Mothers bedroom – A while later that same
day
The mother is sitting up
in her bed. She is in pajamas, in the middle of the day. She is taking pills.
She looks lost in sadness and thought.
Cut to Our hero’s bedroom.
Our hero is sitting up in bed also. She is crying quietly and keeps looking up
at the door, hoping her mother will come in and talk it out. The camera pans to
the door and stays there for a really long time. The audience knows her mother
will not come, the audience is filled with sadness.
(aaawwww)
The camera cuts to Our Hero making ridiculous smiling poses in the mirror.
(laughter)
Music cue’s
Scene 4 Downstairs, in the kitchen, holding the
phone -- That Evening
Our Hero is holding the
phone to make a phone call. She looks in her phone book. The camera cuts to the
phone book pages as our hero leafs through the pages. Our Hero looks at blank
pages in all the category sections; Church – empty, School – Empty, Relatives,
there are two listings. They both say Grandma in the beginning. She chooses
one, and starts to dial.
The camera cuts out to Our Hero sliding down the wall onto her butt, as the receiver clicks in acceptance
on the other end of the phone.
Our Hero is nervous,
“Hello? Grandma? It’s your Granddaughter. I know I’ve never called before,
but…”
We watch Our Hero look
surprised, then a little happy, a then terribly sad.
(aaawwww)
“Okay then, maybe another
time.” Our Hero eeks out, “yeah, I love you too!”
Our Hero stands up and
hangs up the phone. A tear streams down her cheek. “Not even worth the time
of a lame brained senior citizen, awesome.” She laughs at herself and the
leaves the room. The camera fades.
(laughter)
Scene 5 Jr.
High School Campus, -- The Next Day
The camera view cuts to
the inside of an, obvious, English classroom in progress. The students are
starting to take turns, in order, to read. The camera then pans to Our Hero.
Our Hero Voice Over, we
are again inside Our Hero’s head.
One, two, three,… Okay, I’m sixth… The more we told Dill about the Radley’s,…
The camera pans back to
the readers and then the classroom. We see the class listening intently. The
camera pans closer and closer to Our Hero. The Audience starts to realize Our Hero is rereading her paragraph over and over and not listening to the the
readers.
The camera cuts to a
moment later and we hear Our Hero read the last few words of her paragraph to
read, “The more he would wonder.” Our Hero then looks up with a nervous smile.
The rest of classroom does not notice and everybody quickly moves on. The next
person starts to read.
Our Hero Voice Over
Nailed it! (then goes back to rereading the paragraph she was
assigned to read again, ignoring the reader.) after a few rereads Our Hero
starts reading the paragraph in a southern drawl, The mower we tol Diyall ‘bout the Redleey’s…
(laughter)
Scene 6, Our Hero’s Bedroom, Later That Night
We open to Our Hero
sitting on her bed listening to good music. Her mother yells from across the
hall, “Will you come here please?”
Camera cuts to Our Hero
standing in the door frame looking inside her mothers bedroom. Her mother is in
pajamas again, and sitting up in bed again.
“I’m sorry we fought
yesterday.” Her mother looks up apologetically at Our Hero.
“I’m sorry too.” Our Hero
whispers back.
“I thought you said you
were gonna kill yourself?” Her mother says with sarcasm and guilt.
“Yeah, I didn’t have the
guts.” Our Hero says with a small smile.
“Okay, well I gotta go to
sleep now, I work tonight, of course.” Her mother laments.
“Okay, good night, I love
you.” Our Hero says.
Her mother does not
respond.
The camera cuts to her
mother with outstretched arms, waiting for a hug.
Our Hero hugs her mom.
They embrace for a few moments. The mom pulls away first.
“Okay, now goodnight.” Her
mother insists.
“Okay, goodnight.” Our
Hero says, on her way out her mothers bedroom door. Camera fades.
The camera cuts to Our
Hero, almost entering her bedroom, when she tilts her head as hears her mother.
“Oh, Honey!” Her mother yells.
“Oh, Honey!” Her mother yells.
Our Hero, looks up,
excited and happy, she turns and looks back into her mother's room through the
door frame, her mother is laying in her bed. Her mothers tilts her head up slightly, to say
something meaningful, their eyes meet.
“Yes?” Our Hero asks
excitedly.
“Shut my door please,” her
mom says through tired eyes as she lays her head onto the pillow.
The door closes.
End of Cold Open
Thursday
Nuoc Mam Cham
Okay, so I fucking love this Vietnamese sauce.
It is fantastic.
The thing is, every time I go to order it, I also try to pronounce it, but I do it in a way that makes sure they know I don't know what the fuck I'm saying.
Well anyway,
Nobody. I MEAN NOBODY ever says the name back to me loudly or proudly! A lot of servers to chef's just look at me like, "what the fuck are you talking about?" but never say "Oh, you mean NUOC MAM CHAM" and like totally make their mouths say the words.
What the fuck?
Does nobody know how to say this fucking word?
Now I gotta go around asking the world.
How the fuck do you say, "nuoc mam cham."
**btw I keep that shit stored in my fridge most days!**
It is fantastic.
The thing is, every time I go to order it, I also try to pronounce it, but I do it in a way that makes sure they know I don't know what the fuck I'm saying.
Well anyway,
Nobody. I MEAN NOBODY ever says the name back to me loudly or proudly! A lot of servers to chef's just look at me like, "what the fuck are you talking about?" but never say "Oh, you mean NUOC MAM CHAM" and like totally make their mouths say the words.
What the fuck?
Does nobody know how to say this fucking word?
Now I gotta go around asking the world.
How the fuck do you say, "nuoc mam cham."
**btw I keep that shit stored in my fridge most days!**
Tuesday
Hill and Teller
I grew up with some criminals, thieves.
Not necessarily masterminds, but criminals none-the-less.
Criminals are fun because they do magic!
They make stuff happen that normally would not or could not.
Example;
A thief does not have any money, but some how buys whatever they want.
A magician does not have anything in their hat, but some how pulls a bunny out!
A thief does not have any money, but somehow your cash is gone.
A magician has nothing up his sleeve, but your watch!
I tried being a thief. I was terrible. I had no sleight of hand.
I stole makeup when I was 8. I was caught. It was humiliating. I QUIT that career!
Sleight of hand is real handy for magic, but not necessary.
Sleight of hand as a thief, mandatory.
SOMEBODY uses slight of hand who is A MASTERMIND.
She is not a magician.
She does make shit magically disappear.
She delivers with magic!
Not really.
Not at all!
She delivers with sleight of hand and is a fucking criminal mastermind.
She is YOUR Secretary of State and do you see what she is doing now?
She's at it again.
The emails? What emails. Oh these?
What about the other one behind your back?
Those? What? That's nothing, really.
REALLY, it's fucking nothing! Now look away.
Shiny object pointed to misdirect.
And we're gone.
Poof.
Magic.
*This blog post and any files transmitted with it are confidential (shhh) and intended solely for the use of the individual, politician, assassin, guy at the mall or entity (like, totally ANY COUNTRY) to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error (you know like if Putin got Merkels or something) please notify the system manager (me, I'll fix it). This message contains confidential information and intended only for the individual named. I MEAN IT! If you are not the named addressee you should not disseminate, distribute or copy this email. I mean seriously how many times or ways do I have to say it?
Clinton Scandal, If it hasn't dissappeared already
Not necessarily masterminds, but criminals none-the-less.
Criminals are fun because they do magic!
They make stuff happen that normally would not or could not.
Example;
A thief does not have any money, but some how buys whatever they want.
A magician does not have anything in their hat, but some how pulls a bunny out!
A thief does not have any money, but somehow your cash is gone.
A magician has nothing up his sleeve, but your watch!
I tried being a thief. I was terrible. I had no sleight of hand.
I stole makeup when I was 8. I was caught. It was humiliating. I QUIT that career!
Sleight of hand is real handy for magic, but not necessary.
Sleight of hand as a thief, mandatory.
SOMEBODY uses slight of hand who is A MASTERMIND.
She is not a magician.
She does make shit magically disappear.
She delivers with magic!
Not really.
Not at all!
She delivers with sleight of hand and is a fucking criminal mastermind.
She is YOUR Secretary of State and do you see what she is doing now?
She's at it again.
The emails? What emails. Oh these?
What about the other one behind your back?
Those? What? That's nothing, really.
REALLY, it's fucking nothing! Now look away.
Shiny object pointed to misdirect.
And we're gone.
Poof.
Magic.
*This blog post and any files transmitted with it are confidential (shhh) and intended solely for the use of the individual, politician, assassin, guy at the mall or entity (like, totally ANY COUNTRY) to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error (you know like if Putin got Merkels or something) please notify the system manager (me, I'll fix it). This message contains confidential information and intended only for the individual named. I MEAN IT! If you are not the named addressee you should not disseminate, distribute or copy this email. I mean seriously how many times or ways do I have to say it?
Clinton Scandal, If it hasn't dissappeared already
Monday
Put Your Panties On America
I hate to fan the xenophobic flame that burns so brightly in America, but as it turns out, We are a bunch of pussies in the drinking department. You, know, compared to OVER THERE.
They have their shit together. They hold their liquor. They aren't a bunch of overloaded, spazed out, belligerent fucks. They keep that shit locked down.
Okay, maybe they're not that perfect, but drinking is part of their culture, and they accept it. They drink. They ALL FUCKING DRINK. It is no big deal AT ALL.
Because they all drink, they know how to keep it together, function with it.
I know. You're the one person on Earth that doesn't have a vice and theirs is too much! Whatever, we all have vices. If you don't enjoy or acknowledge your vice it will likely become your addiction. Good luck with that.
Now, I know it's not entirely possible OVER HERE.
The reasons being public transportation sucks balls in this country.
I know, the Government, has let you down again. But, I'll get back to that later.
People need to acknowledge they like to drink sometimes.
It's not a big fucking deal.
If IT Is, it's NOT the booze.
If you take THAT PERSON's booze, they'll find something else.
I wish we'd get it together.
If we started walking, riding bikes, using cabs, demanded public transportation, used the roads cohesively, became better educated drivers, we could all just chill the fuck out
and
have a drink.
TADA...
You know, it's the old it's not US it's You,
from THEM.
“GOVERNMENT WARNING: (1) According to the Surgeon General, women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy because of the risk of birth defects. (2) Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems”
They have their shit together. They hold their liquor. They aren't a bunch of overloaded, spazed out, belligerent fucks. They keep that shit locked down.
Okay, maybe they're not that perfect, but drinking is part of their culture, and they accept it. They drink. They ALL FUCKING DRINK. It is no big deal AT ALL.
Because they all drink, they know how to keep it together, function with it.
I know. You're the one person on Earth that doesn't have a vice and theirs is too much! Whatever, we all have vices. If you don't enjoy or acknowledge your vice it will likely become your addiction. Good luck with that.
Now, I know it's not entirely possible OVER HERE.
The reasons being public transportation sucks balls in this country.
I know, the Government, has let you down again. But, I'll get back to that later.
People need to acknowledge they like to drink sometimes.
It's not a big fucking deal.
If IT Is, it's NOT the booze.
If you take THAT PERSON's booze, they'll find something else.
I wish we'd get it together.
If we started walking, riding bikes, using cabs, demanded public transportation, used the roads cohesively, became better educated drivers, we could all just chill the fuck out
and
have a drink.
TADA...
You know, it's the old it's not US it's You,
from THEM.
“GOVERNMENT WARNING: (1) According to the Surgeon General, women should not drink alcoholic beverages during pregnancy because of the risk of birth defects. (2) Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car or operate machinery, and may cause health problems”
Thursday
Rocket Science
I've watched A LOT of kids in my time.
My first full time job, besides little baby sitting jobs here and there, was watching a 6 month old all summer. I was 13.
I look back at that sweet baby, and those poor parents, who had to hire me, and hope they're all doing well today.
This I know is true.
Babies are tiny people.
FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE
A study came out a year ago, saying talking to babies will increase their intelligence. That's nice. That's great, actually. Why the fuck did this take so long? Who does these studies? Helen Keller?
When you meet a baby, if you get right down to their level and make eye contact, they will engage with you.
Talk to them.
AND
Talk back to them, when they "talk" to you.
Have a glorious (yet, maybe private) babble gab fest with the tike. They frickin' love it. You are speaking their language!! They may look at you like, "Great, Dad/Mom's an idiot." But soon enough they'll catch on and be ready to dish!!
When they get a little older, you know, sitting up in that petri dish called a grocery cart, they are ready for the action! Tell them what you are buying and what you will be doing with that. Tell them about the looney behind the register and have a good laugh! Let them put in their toothless two cents.
Meet the babies you run into. I see dinky people,... they're everywhere. They're NOT Scary. Talk to them.
Look those little blobs of joy in the eyes and say hello.
Say hello to their parents too, they probably need a little engagement themselves.
I know, groundbreaking.
Sadly, it kinda is. It definitely should NOT be anymore!
Seriously,
FUCKING Duh,
It's NOT rocket science.
My first full time job, besides little baby sitting jobs here and there, was watching a 6 month old all summer. I was 13.
I look back at that sweet baby, and those poor parents, who had to hire me, and hope they're all doing well today.
This I know is true.
Babies are tiny people.
FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE
A study came out a year ago, saying talking to babies will increase their intelligence. That's nice. That's great, actually. Why the fuck did this take so long? Who does these studies? Helen Keller?
When you meet a baby, if you get right down to their level and make eye contact, they will engage with you.
Talk to them.
AND
Talk back to them, when they "talk" to you.
Have a glorious (yet, maybe private) babble gab fest with the tike. They frickin' love it. You are speaking their language!! They may look at you like, "Great, Dad/Mom's an idiot." But soon enough they'll catch on and be ready to dish!!
When they get a little older, you know, sitting up in that petri dish called a grocery cart, they are ready for the action! Tell them what you are buying and what you will be doing with that. Tell them about the looney behind the register and have a good laugh! Let them put in their toothless two cents.
Meet the babies you run into. I see dinky people,... they're everywhere. They're NOT Scary. Talk to them.
Look those little blobs of joy in the eyes and say hello.
Say hello to their parents too, they probably need a little engagement themselves.
I know, groundbreaking.
Sadly, it kinda is. It definitely should NOT be anymore!
Seriously,
FUCKING Duh,
It's NOT rocket science.
Tuesday
Some Food is Racist
I do not define my culture with food.
AND
That sucks.
I didn't grow up in a tight knit community that came together to enjoy community, love, and food.
We had two meals annually as a family. Together.
These moments will forever be in my memory as the times we came together and enjoyed our little home community, love (and some INSANE fights), and food.
I can't eat turkey or ham without thinking about those people I grew up with.
I don't have culture, but I have created it.
The summer means my potato salad. The first sign of fall is a hearty bowl of my famous soup! Winter means leftover sheppards pie. The spring is the second coming of lamb, we usually have it once in the winter too.
I have peppered other food traditions throughout our lives, to create what I no longer have.
I don't understand why any culture would stop this because their food is racist? You wont eat or advertise eating certain foods from your community? Made with love? Delicious food? I can't even mention making it for you for all the same reasons. If I do, I am racist?
That sucks.
I hope if anybody wants to acknowledge and celebrate my food with me, I will celebrate and enjoy with them. I would happily reciprocate.
I WOULD!
I can't.
I can't, because some food is racist, and I am not.
Sorry.
AND
That sucks.
I didn't grow up in a tight knit community that came together to enjoy community, love, and food.
We had two meals annually as a family. Together.
These moments will forever be in my memory as the times we came together and enjoyed our little home community, love (and some INSANE fights), and food.
I can't eat turkey or ham without thinking about those people I grew up with.
I don't have culture, but I have created it.
The summer means my potato salad. The first sign of fall is a hearty bowl of my famous soup! Winter means leftover sheppards pie. The spring is the second coming of lamb, we usually have it once in the winter too.
I have peppered other food traditions throughout our lives, to create what I no longer have.
I don't understand why any culture would stop this because their food is racist? You wont eat or advertise eating certain foods from your community? Made with love? Delicious food? I can't even mention making it for you for all the same reasons. If I do, I am racist?
That sucks.
I hope if anybody wants to acknowledge and celebrate my food with me, I will celebrate and enjoy with them. I would happily reciprocate.
I WOULD!
I can't.
I can't, because some food is racist, and I am not.
Sorry.
Peaches? It's What for Dinner.
Growing up, mom worked at Campbell's Soup.
Sometimes she would bring home a box of unmarked cans.
They were a mistake or lost their label so mom could buy these super cheap.
This was NOT our favorite way to eat a meal.
Mom stopped doing it soon enough though, Cheap as it was,
NOBODY wants a bad surprise at dinner.
Without the labels we would have no idea what was inside.
Cans need labels.
What about people?
Labels on people are bad, because we can communicate with them.
We can find out what's inside, by reaching out and having a conversation.
What if we can't find out what's inside?
Are labels ever good?
I think good or bad, they're necessary.
I go out into the world, knowing I have to wear a label.
When I go out, looking like I Forgot there is a public, I expect people to respond to me as such.
Homeless? Lazy? No Job? Why does she look like she does not belong anywhere?
So then there is the debate about wearing certain types of clothing.
People want to yell from the fences how it isn't right to judge a book by it's cover.
Your cover is not your skin. Your cover, your label is what you put on. You're telling people what is inside.
If you look scary, or like you don't care,
I'm gonna put you in the damaged cans box,
I really don't want anything to do with you.
You might ruin my dinner
Sometimes she would bring home a box of unmarked cans.
They were a mistake or lost their label so mom could buy these super cheap.
This was NOT our favorite way to eat a meal.
Mom stopped doing it soon enough though, Cheap as it was,
NOBODY wants a bad surprise at dinner.
Without the labels we would have no idea what was inside.
Cans need labels.
What about people?
Labels on people are bad, because we can communicate with them.
We can find out what's inside, by reaching out and having a conversation.
What if we can't find out what's inside?
Are labels ever good?
I think good or bad, they're necessary.
I go out into the world, knowing I have to wear a label.
When I go out, looking like I Forgot there is a public, I expect people to respond to me as such.
Homeless? Lazy? No Job? Why does she look like she does not belong anywhere?
So then there is the debate about wearing certain types of clothing.
People want to yell from the fences how it isn't right to judge a book by it's cover.
Your cover is not your skin. Your cover, your label is what you put on. You're telling people what is inside.
If you look scary, or like you don't care,
I'm gonna put you in the damaged cans box,
I really don't want anything to do with you.
You might ruin my dinner
Monday
Pork for Lunch
It's been said over and over. Why don't we pay teachers what we pay pro-ballers? We should.
The counter argument is always, we live in a capitalist society. The demand is great enough for pro sports that people will PAY to go see these pro-ballers play.
Or is it?
How many Pro games did you go to last year?
Did you send a kid to school?
How does your budget work?
I didn't go to any pro games in 2014.
I sent 2 kids to school last year, yes I paid for parts of their education.
My budget works like this:
I pay all the stuff I have to pay first, i.e. bills, mortgage, education, and food. I, then, use what is left for extracurricular, i.e. sports and fun.
Your government sees it different.
The government spends YOUR money on extracurricular and forgets to pay the education bill!
How many schools in your city have closed down, lost funding, no longer have extracurricular activities (NO SPORTS for them!! Ha Ha, good one government!), or are just out and out CRAPPY!
BUT, just think of ALL the revenue you're getting from that dazzling arena!!
Pro Stadiums bring in construction jobs, and visitor money, and tax dollars, AND it is OWNED BY YOU!!
Hmm, owned by me. I DO LOVE MY BOX SEAT!! ... Fuck you, do you really think I am THAT stupid.
I may be, I was educated in California, after all.
What does lack of schooling bring in?
Lack of schooling brings in construction jobs too!!
Construction of new prisons.
They bring in visitor money!!
NOT just visitors, we get both locals and Visitors selling sex, drugs, and crime! Bonus! (sarcasm, duh)
Lack of education brings in tax dollars!!
Um, no, not really.
Education is OWNED by you. Well, no. Your tax dollars count, as long as you live in a great school district. You will pay MUCH HIGHER property tax (you can afford it, right?) If you can't afford it, well, tough shit!
I have battled a lack of education my whole life. I was NEVER diagnosed with dyslexia. I graduated (although late) high school with a 6th grade education. I have family members who are keeping the streets and prison cells warm.
They have never seen the inside of a box seat.
How about your kid? Does it matter?
Well EVEN if it does, YOU DON'T GET TO SAY SHIT.
That's right, we (the MONEY, aka, the taxpayer) does not get to VOTE!! NOPE, not in this "democracy".
Your tax dollars are "added on" to other bills, it's called PORK.
What is PORK (or pork barrel)?
- A bill or project requiring considerable government spending in a locality to the benefit of the legislators constituents.
Let's break that down.
It's an ADDITIONAL, LARGE, FEE your politicians ADD (WITHOUT A VOTE) to another bill, that they KNOW WILL PASS, that funds a project they deem neccessary.
That's good. Wait, what?
My Democracy is NOT a democracy?
Somebody else is sitting in my box seat?
But hey, we ALL want this right?
I say NO NO NO
Give us education...
let the politicians and pro franchise owners and proballers EAT PORK!!
change.org
cato.org
Jonathan Kozol (Education Hero!)
StartSTOP
Pro/Con Sacramento
Pro/Con Sacramento (very slanted PRO) get a good laugh here
Kansas City
thinkprogress.org
The counter argument is always, we live in a capitalist society. The demand is great enough for pro sports that people will PAY to go see these pro-ballers play.
Or is it?
How many Pro games did you go to last year?
Did you send a kid to school?
How does your budget work?
I didn't go to any pro games in 2014.
I sent 2 kids to school last year, yes I paid for parts of their education.
My budget works like this:
I pay all the stuff I have to pay first, i.e. bills, mortgage, education, and food. I, then, use what is left for extracurricular, i.e. sports and fun.
Your government sees it different.
The government spends YOUR money on extracurricular and forgets to pay the education bill!
How many schools in your city have closed down, lost funding, no longer have extracurricular activities (NO SPORTS for them!! Ha Ha, good one government!), or are just out and out CRAPPY!
BUT, just think of ALL the revenue you're getting from that dazzling arena!!
Pro Stadiums bring in construction jobs, and visitor money, and tax dollars, AND it is OWNED BY YOU!!
Hmm, owned by me. I DO LOVE MY BOX SEAT!! ... Fuck you, do you really think I am THAT stupid.
I may be, I was educated in California, after all.
What does lack of schooling bring in?
Lack of schooling brings in construction jobs too!!
Construction of new prisons.
They bring in visitor money!!
NOT just visitors, we get both locals and Visitors selling sex, drugs, and crime! Bonus! (sarcasm, duh)
Lack of education brings in tax dollars!!
Um, no, not really.
Education is OWNED by you. Well, no. Your tax dollars count, as long as you live in a great school district. You will pay MUCH HIGHER property tax (you can afford it, right?) If you can't afford it, well, tough shit!
I have battled a lack of education my whole life. I was NEVER diagnosed with dyslexia. I graduated (although late) high school with a 6th grade education. I have family members who are keeping the streets and prison cells warm.
They have never seen the inside of a box seat.
How about your kid? Does it matter?
Well EVEN if it does, YOU DON'T GET TO SAY SHIT.
That's right, we (the MONEY, aka, the taxpayer) does not get to VOTE!! NOPE, not in this "democracy".
Your tax dollars are "added on" to other bills, it's called PORK.
What is PORK (or pork barrel)?
- A bill or project requiring considerable government spending in a locality to the benefit of the legislators constituents.
Let's break that down.
It's an ADDITIONAL, LARGE, FEE your politicians ADD (WITHOUT A VOTE) to another bill, that they KNOW WILL PASS, that funds a project they deem neccessary.
That's good. Wait, what?
My Democracy is NOT a democracy?
Somebody else is sitting in my box seat?
But hey, we ALL want this right?
I say NO NO NO
Give us education...
let the politicians and pro franchise owners and proballers EAT PORK!!
change.org
cato.org
Jonathan Kozol (Education Hero!)
StartSTOP
Pro/Con Sacramento
Pro/Con Sacramento (very slanted PRO) get a good laugh here
Kansas City
thinkprogress.org
Friday
Pay Toilet
I was a little distracted in school. It was hard to get a kid like me to pay attention.
I had a math teacher who used to use fantastic words like fiduciary and causation to try to get us to look up.
He even used silly idioms like;
"It's worse than a pay toilet in a diarrhea ward."
That IS a TERRIBLE visual, but a visual none-the-less, and it worked. I have NEVER forgotten that phrase.
I've always had a ton of ideas swirling around in my head.
Some fantastic and interesting. Some completely hair brained.
This idea is not an original idea, I have, but it isn't hair brained either. It is fantastic.
PAY TOILETS!! Yes, in public places. You pay.
They do it ALL over Europe. You pay a Euro, you get to go. Kids are free.
I know I would pay 50 cents to a dollar to go into a place that DID NOT look like a pay toilet in a diarrhea ward.
Also, this provides a whole new area of gainful employment. There are public bathrooms all over this country!
The problems I see are:
The government will step in and regulate the shit out of it, causing this to be, yet another job that becomes to complicated and expensive to even create.
Dear Government, Stay the fuck away from this industry.
The credit card companies will install credit card swipers all over the place, or in place of a dollar or some change being easily handed over. This would create a bathroom break costing seventy-five cents to three dollars MORE than it would have.
Dear Credit Card Companies, Go the fuck away, find some other way to screw over your nation. Thank you
Okay, Ready to GO.... literally
I had a math teacher who used to use fantastic words like fiduciary and causation to try to get us to look up.
He even used silly idioms like;
"It's worse than a pay toilet in a diarrhea ward."
That IS a TERRIBLE visual, but a visual none-the-less, and it worked. I have NEVER forgotten that phrase.
I've always had a ton of ideas swirling around in my head.
Some fantastic and interesting. Some completely hair brained.
This idea is not an original idea, I have, but it isn't hair brained either. It is fantastic.
PAY TOILETS!! Yes, in public places. You pay.
They do it ALL over Europe. You pay a Euro, you get to go. Kids are free.
I know I would pay 50 cents to a dollar to go into a place that DID NOT look like a pay toilet in a diarrhea ward.
Also, this provides a whole new area of gainful employment. There are public bathrooms all over this country!
The problems I see are:
The government will step in and regulate the shit out of it, causing this to be, yet another job that becomes to complicated and expensive to even create.
Dear Government, Stay the fuck away from this industry.
The credit card companies will install credit card swipers all over the place, or in place of a dollar or some change being easily handed over. This would create a bathroom break costing seventy-five cents to three dollars MORE than it would have.
Dear Credit Card Companies, Go the fuck away, find some other way to screw over your nation. Thank you
Okay, Ready to GO.... literally
Thursday
I'll Have the Onion
Hello My Name is Simion (Simon) and I like to do drahrwings.
I also like to cook.
Can We TAWK? I'm feeling verklempt!
If you were ever a kid, you know, hot dogs are YUMMY!!
It's not like we don't know they're seasoned crap.
I eat a hot dog, I know I just ate seasoned crap.
If I eat a slice of bread, I expect to eat 5 natural, known, ingredients.
I don't expect a hot dog.
We're getting hot dogs EVERYWHERE!
Big Business is spending MILLIONS of Dollars (One Meeellion Dollars) to feed me hot dogs!!
Maybe not, but they might as well be (Marcus Welby, schwing!)
This is NOT making me as happy as a little girl, AT ALL!
GMO'S
are really getting me hyper-hypo!
They're crazy!!
They're making me crazy!!
Do you want to touch my monkey?
See.... CuhRAZY
It's like a parfait. Everybody LOVES a Parfait, but do you know all the things you're gonna get?
Maybe not.
But, you can expect that, it's a whole bunch of stuff.
It should really be like an Onion. Onions have layers too, but you know what you're gonna get.
You Did!
GMO's are making food repellent in every way. In fact, it seems like most GMO cuisine is made on a dare!
We really need to label this stuff (and hopefully get rid of it ALL together)
Before we turn into Fat Bastards!
Ref.
Say NO to GMO's
Mike Myers -
Characters
Simon - SNL Simon
Linda Richman - SNL Coffee Talk
Austin Powers - Austin Powers
Wayne - Waynes World
Phillip - SNL Phillip the Hyper-Hypo kid
Dieter - SNL Spockets
Shrek - SHREK
Charlie MacKenzie - So I Married an Ax Murdered
I also like to cook.
Can We TAWK? I'm feeling verklempt!
If you were ever a kid, you know, hot dogs are YUMMY!!
It's not like we don't know they're seasoned crap.
I eat a hot dog, I know I just ate seasoned crap.
If I eat a slice of bread, I expect to eat 5 natural, known, ingredients.
I don't expect a hot dog.
We're getting hot dogs EVERYWHERE!
Big Business is spending MILLIONS of Dollars (One Meeellion Dollars) to feed me hot dogs!!
Maybe not, but they might as well be (Marcus Welby, schwing!)
This is NOT making me as happy as a little girl, AT ALL!
GMO'S
are really getting me hyper-hypo!
They're crazy!!
They're making me crazy!!
Do you want to touch my monkey?
See.... CuhRAZY
It's like a parfait. Everybody LOVES a Parfait, but do you know all the things you're gonna get?
Maybe not.
But, you can expect that, it's a whole bunch of stuff.
It should really be like an Onion. Onions have layers too, but you know what you're gonna get.
You Did!
GMO's are making food repellent in every way. In fact, it seems like most GMO cuisine is made on a dare!
We really need to label this stuff (and hopefully get rid of it ALL together)
Before we turn into Fat Bastards!
Ref.
Say NO to GMO's
Mike Myers -
Characters
Simon - SNL Simon
Linda Richman - SNL Coffee Talk
Austin Powers - Austin Powers
Wayne - Waynes World
Phillip - SNL Phillip the Hyper-Hypo kid
Dieter - SNL Spockets
Shrek - SHREK
Charlie MacKenzie - So I Married an Ax Murdered
Tuesday
Ethics:101
We ALL know how it works.
The ENDs justify the means. Get your piece of the pie and then decide what you're going to do. Beg, borrow, or steal as long as you get yours.
Um, What fucked up version of Ethics are we all learning?
This bastardized version being taught to our society, OUR CHILDREN, is really FUCKED UP!!
ETHICS 101 is VERY VERY SIMPLE...
Do Unto Others as You Would Have Done Unto You.
Don't do shit to other people that you would not want done to you!
We ALL learned this in Kindergarten!
Even if we didn't,
we ALL KNOW,
WE Hate it when people do mean things to US!
OUR PRESIDENT...
fact check his State of the Union... it will tell you, "he did cherry-pick data and exaggerate at times to put the best spin on his accomplishments".
The VA, how they sent our kids off to war, but forget to take care of them when they come home!
The way they said it was ILLEGAL to do something, but let it happen ANYWAY!
The Way, WE THE TAXPAYER, pay for professional (COMMERCIAL) Arena's
and Stadiums.
Even if we can't afford to GO to a GAME, EVER, YOU STILL PAY!!!!
OUR "TRUSTED" COMPANIES and CORPORATIONS...
What about Cigarettes (how they used to be healthy!)
The ENDs justify the means. Get your piece of the pie and then decide what you're going to do. Beg, borrow, or steal as long as you get yours.
Um, What fucked up version of Ethics are we all learning?
This bastardized version being taught to our society, OUR CHILDREN, is really FUCKED UP!!
ETHICS 101 is VERY VERY SIMPLE...
Do Unto Others as You Would Have Done Unto You.
Don't do shit to other people that you would not want done to you!
We ALL learned this in Kindergarten!
Even if we didn't,
we ALL KNOW,
WE Hate it when people do mean things to US!
OUR PRESIDENT...
fact check his State of the Union... it will tell you, "he did cherry-pick data and exaggerate at times to put the best spin on his accomplishments".
That MEANS HE FUCKING LIED to US,
Us; His Employers whom he was hired to take care of and protect.
OUR ELECTED OFFICIALS ...
How often do we hear about conspiracies, money scams, and OUT
and OUT Lies from our government???
Us; His Employers whom he was hired to take care of and protect.
OUR ELECTED OFFICIALS ...
How often do we hear about conspiracies, money scams, and OUT
and OUT Lies from our government???
The VA, how they sent our kids off to war, but forget to take care of them when they come home!
The way they said it was ILLEGAL to do something, but let it happen ANYWAY!
The Way, WE THE TAXPAYER, pay for professional (COMMERCIAL) Arena's
and Stadiums.
Even if we can't afford to GO to a GAME, EVER, YOU STILL PAY!!!!
OUR "TRUSTED" COMPANIES and CORPORATIONS...
What about Cigarettes (how they used to be healthy!)
Every Credit Card Company, Cell Phone Company, Cable Company, Financial
Institutions, Car Companies, etc... ETC...
Institutions, Car Companies, etc... ETC...
There are SO many it makes you want to throw your hands in the air and
GIVE THE FUCK UP!
Please don't
OUR MEDIA...
We are SUPPOSED to have a FREE media, but more and more it has become
monopolized, and we are being fed GARBAGE.
Our "News" is a fake view of the world, with a HUGE amount of Hollywood or Fame being "sold to us".
GIVE THE FUCK UP!
Please don't
OUR MEDIA...
We are SUPPOSED to have a FREE media, but more and more it has become
monopolized, and we are being fed GARBAGE.
Our "News" is a fake view of the world, with a HUGE amount of Hollywood or Fame being "sold to us".
WE are no longer being informed. We are being fed whatever is important to the media conglomerates pocket book.
Our "Stars"... We are not picking who we are interested in! We are picking from a
Small group of people being produced for us. We are being hand fed "what we like", and are given ever diminishing options.
If I EVER SEE some of those idiots, who I won't even name, (I won't give them credit for being a horrible human beings, RICH or NOT) again, it WILL be
too soon!!
You had your chance. You fucked it up. Go do something good with your life.
Work for a living.
It is NOT too LATE!!
WE DO, STILL, HAVE CHOICES!!
Make The Right Ones... The Ethical Choices...
If you don't like the President
VOTE, let's get someone who doesn't lie... that would be nice.
Stand Up against our Elected Government Officials. They can be fired, we can write letters, we can educate ourselves, we peacefully march in the streets for change.
Don't patronise companies who have poor ethics or have violated you in the past.
To the best of your ability, quit the shitty companies, and, (fairly) rate those companies.
If the large majority of dealings a company has with the public are negative, people WILL STOP using that company.
Look for Media and Entertainment in the right places.
Do NOT CLICK on an unethical or gratuitous news article.
Enjoy the Entertainment you enjoy, but don't settle.
Don't settle for the shit right in front of your face.
It IS FOR YOU.
Enjoy what YOU LIKE, not what somebody else tells you too.
ALWAYS REMEMBER...
These are JUST PEOPLE, like you, and like me.
You Deserve to be treated how you would treat someone else...
Let KARMA take it's course again...
freepress.net
Whitehouse.gov
History.com
factcheck.org
house.gov
snopes.com
wickipedia.com
Adam M. Zaretsky - St.LouisFed.org
Our "Stars"... We are not picking who we are interested in! We are picking from a
Small group of people being produced for us. We are being hand fed "what we like", and are given ever diminishing options.
If I EVER SEE some of those idiots, who I won't even name, (I won't give them credit for being a horrible human beings, RICH or NOT) again, it WILL be
too soon!!
You had your chance. You fucked it up. Go do something good with your life.
Work for a living.
It is NOT too LATE!!
WE DO, STILL, HAVE CHOICES!!
Make The Right Ones... The Ethical Choices...
If you don't like the President
VOTE, let's get someone who doesn't lie... that would be nice.
Stand Up against our Elected Government Officials. They can be fired, we can write letters, we can educate ourselves, we peacefully march in the streets for change.
Don't patronise companies who have poor ethics or have violated you in the past.
To the best of your ability, quit the shitty companies, and, (fairly) rate those companies.
If the large majority of dealings a company has with the public are negative, people WILL STOP using that company.
Look for Media and Entertainment in the right places.
Do NOT CLICK on an unethical or gratuitous news article.
Enjoy the Entertainment you enjoy, but don't settle.
Don't settle for the shit right in front of your face.
It IS FOR YOU.
Enjoy what YOU LIKE, not what somebody else tells you too.
ALWAYS REMEMBER...
These are JUST PEOPLE, like you, and like me.
You Deserve to be treated how you would treat someone else...
Let KARMA take it's course again...
freepress.net
Whitehouse.gov
History.com
factcheck.org
house.gov
snopes.com
wickipedia.com
Adam M. Zaretsky - St.LouisFed.org
Monday
Because, Your Father Said SO!!
You know when you make something really great.
When you work really hard and get it right, before you give it to everybody else to enjoy.
Then, when you pridefully present it to the people you care about,
and...
IT is regarded as TRASH? It is disrespected or destroyed?
Doesn't that just bother you? Don't you think, how rude, they had NO idea how much work it would take to do such a thing!
and...
IT is regarded as TRASH? It is disrespected or destroyed?
Doesn't that just bother you? Don't you think, how rude, they had NO idea how much work it would take to do such a thing!
Ignorance.
This is ignorance.
Lack of Knowledge
Lack of Understanding
Lack of Experience
Our Forefathers worked really hard to get our foundation right. They made sure to do that, before giving it to the people they cared about.
Our country is being regarded as trash right now. It is being disrespected, and destroyed.
THAT BOTHERS ME!!
My solution:
Mandatory Government Service. 2 years of Government service in exchange for 2 years free college. FOR EVERYONE!!
It pays for itself. It solves the ignorance problem;
Knowledge gained through Service
Understanding found through Knowledge
Experience gained through Time
That's what I'd do if I were King
That's what I'd do if I were King
Sunday
Sunday
Do we HAVE to be bugging the shit out of each other EVERY DAY?
NO,
We need a day to chill out, be with family, stay the fuck away from our devices.
This is the LAST post you will ever see on a Sunday.
Enjoy your family and friends!!!
NO,
We need a day to chill out, be with family, stay the fuck away from our devices.
This is the LAST post you will ever see on a Sunday.
Enjoy your family and friends!!!
Saturday
Don't Cuss in Front of the Children!!
OMG!! Did we forget this rule?
Seriously, don't fucking cuss in front of the children! They're susceptible to a lot of things and if you expose them too soon, it can really fuck them up!
Whoa Ranty,
Actually, I feel a need to be Ranty here!
50 shades of grey made our country go BAT SHIT CRAZY!
Seriously, I saw Weathermen AND Cinderella on television talking about WHIPS and being tied up!! Are you fucking kidding me? I don't know how you raise YOUR kid, but mine really does not need to know what S&M and bondage are, just yet.
Ellen thinks my kid should, at least, be informed enough to wonder?
The Today Show (news? ha,ha), thinks she should have enough information, to, ASK the right questions.
Holy shit? Did they say that?
No, they can't, that would be wrong. But, they just stuck it in their face CONSTANTLY and IMPLIED IT, ALL OVER the fucking place!! I wish they had been the only ones. Every Fucking Body on television was doing it???
"What is 50 shades of grey about mommy?" My kiddo asks, after yet, another fucking idiot ADULT on television feels the need to bring it up, in a laughing, fun way. I mean really, you are making it sound fucking FANTASTIC for a kid. Everybody is talking about it and having a great time!! I want that TOO!!
I guide them and point them in the right direction. But, if I point them toward an Adult, I trust, during family time and even THAT PERSON is fucking doing shit I would NEVER CONDONE in my own living room. Who the fuck is left?
When the kids are around, you don't cuss. For the adults who have forgotten this or why we do this, here is a tutorial:
I cuss openly and freely = my kid thinks cussing is okay.
I talk happily and openly about sex and drugs = my kid thinks sex and drugs are okay.
I enjoy smoking = my kid thinks smoking is okay.
The Adult you trust does fucked up shit = my kid thinks fucked up shit is okay.
.... but hey, EVERYBODY'S DOING IT... HEY "Adult", go jump off a bridge, why don't you?
This is NOT OKAY! Some things are to be done and said behind closed doors, and NOT in Front of the Children!!
(It's not that fucking complicated!)
Seriously, don't fucking cuss in front of the children! They're susceptible to a lot of things and if you expose them too soon, it can really fuck them up!
Whoa Ranty,
Actually, I feel a need to be Ranty here!
50 shades of grey made our country go BAT SHIT CRAZY!
Seriously, I saw Weathermen AND Cinderella on television talking about WHIPS and being tied up!! Are you fucking kidding me? I don't know how you raise YOUR kid, but mine really does not need to know what S&M and bondage are, just yet.
Ellen thinks my kid should, at least, be informed enough to wonder?
The Today Show (news? ha,ha), thinks she should have enough information, to, ASK the right questions.
Holy shit? Did they say that?
No, they can't, that would be wrong. But, they just stuck it in their face CONSTANTLY and IMPLIED IT, ALL OVER the fucking place!! I wish they had been the only ones. Every Fucking Body on television was doing it???
"What is 50 shades of grey about mommy?" My kiddo asks, after yet, another fucking idiot ADULT on television feels the need to bring it up, in a laughing, fun way. I mean really, you are making it sound fucking FANTASTIC for a kid. Everybody is talking about it and having a great time!! I want that TOO!!
I guide them and point them in the right direction. But, if I point them toward an Adult, I trust, during family time and even THAT PERSON is fucking doing shit I would NEVER CONDONE in my own living room. Who the fuck is left?
When the kids are around, you don't cuss. For the adults who have forgotten this or why we do this, here is a tutorial:
I cuss openly and freely = my kid thinks cussing is okay.
I talk happily and openly about sex and drugs = my kid thinks sex and drugs are okay.
I enjoy smoking = my kid thinks smoking is okay.
The Adult you trust does fucked up shit = my kid thinks fucked up shit is okay.
.... but hey, EVERYBODY'S DOING IT... HEY "Adult", go jump off a bridge, why don't you?
This is NOT OKAY! Some things are to be done and said behind closed doors, and NOT in Front of the Children!!
(It's not that fucking complicated!)
Thursday
Don't Bite the Apple
Once upon a time, in a school far far away, a little girl went to learn how to read, and to write, and add numbers, and live happily ever after.
but alas, it was not meant to be...
An Evil was looming over the little girl! A spell had been cast and she was NOT to live Happily Ever After after ALL.
The Little Girl did not know of this, of course. It was kept a secret. If she ever found out, the spell would be broken, and the Evil would lose hold...
Lucky for Evil, nobody ever told.
The little girl was me. Little, unaware, me.
I would have lived with this Evil my whole life, but I was lucky, the spell was broken.
The spell had a name...
Dyslexia is ME.
I didn't know I was dyslexic, UNTIL I had my own little princess, who has it too.
She went to school one day, like me, and her spell was cast. She, too, was bound to live unhappily ever after. She, too, was unable to read, and write, and do math. She, too, was stupid, lazy, and worthless. She, too, had NO value in this reading world.
How could this be? The world had changed a lot since I was that little girl. Hadn't we all become smarter and more educated? The Educators know. The Schools know. People know. Everyone knows, and understands dyslexia. Right?
NOPE.
Educators and the public "understand" dyslexia. They'll tell you.
(honestly, I thought I knew too!)
They've taken that course, you know, the one, that had that Whole Page on it!
DON'T GET ME WRONG
Good Educators are amazing, underpaid, and undervalued in EVERY aspect in our society.
But, A Bad Educator is a REALLY BAD APPLE!
Well, MY kid, and I got TOO many of those! And So do SO MANY OTHER KIDS.
I think I understand where it stems from... you know, the core (HA!) of the problem..
Educators and The Public are under educated and uninformed about what Dyslexia really IS...
Dyslexia is NOT just turning letters and numbers around, or the words bouncing around on the page!
Dyslexia is an ENTIRE Personality.
Dyslexia is being prone to early ear infections, and being "outdoorsy", and highly intuitive, and living OUT LOUD, and having to "get the wiggles out", and seeing things mostly in pictures (not words), and having a HELL of a time reading, writing, or performing simple math, and so so much more!
Dyslexia is, also, skewed in the media. The public is misinformed. The dyslexics we know a lot about, are, naturally going to be famous for something! AND Usually something GOOD!
In this equation having dyslexia equals a GIFT not Evil! Although, it is acknowledged that not everyone becomes successful, but GEEZ how great the potential is!
THIS is HOW dyslexia is thought of!
NOT TO WORRY, there are special classes, learning techniques, and a kinesthetic learning environment to help so you don't accidentally get chewed up, tossed aside.
Wait... What? Those are not funded for.
Dyslexia is too broad and too many people have it?
There is not money for Dyslexia outright!
What there is, is; work-arounds and under-the-radar fixes to get your kids SOME help. This won't truly address the problem, of course,
and will take a lot of time, and forms, and meetings.
Don't Sweat It! You're kid will languish away while we Get That Done!
There are hoops and juggling acts you get to do to, as a caregiver.
It is GREAT FUN!!
There is just SO much you have to do, just to combat dyslexia.
BUT, What happens WHEN there is NOBODY there to do that for them?
Does Evil take over?
Do you just live with the spell?
Do you become just another rotten apple?
BREAK THE SPELL
Ref. MayoClinic.org
OrtonAcademy.org
dyslexia.com
education.com
but alas, it was not meant to be...
An Evil was looming over the little girl! A spell had been cast and she was NOT to live Happily Ever After after ALL.
The Little Girl did not know of this, of course. It was kept a secret. If she ever found out, the spell would be broken, and the Evil would lose hold...
Lucky for Evil, nobody ever told.
The little girl was me. Little, unaware, me.
I would have lived with this Evil my whole life, but I was lucky, the spell was broken.
The spell had a name...
DYSLEXIA
Dyslexia is ME.
I didn't know I was dyslexic, UNTIL I had my own little princess, who has it too.
She went to school one day, like me, and her spell was cast. She, too, was bound to live unhappily ever after. She, too, was unable to read, and write, and do math. She, too, was stupid, lazy, and worthless. She, too, had NO value in this reading world.
How could this be? The world had changed a lot since I was that little girl. Hadn't we all become smarter and more educated? The Educators know. The Schools know. People know. Everyone knows, and understands dyslexia. Right?
NOPE.
Educators and the public "understand" dyslexia. They'll tell you.
(honestly, I thought I knew too!)
They've taken that course, you know, the one, that had that Whole Page on it!
DON'T GET ME WRONG
Good Educators are amazing, underpaid, and undervalued in EVERY aspect in our society.
But, A Bad Educator is a REALLY BAD APPLE!
Well, MY kid, and I got TOO many of those! And So do SO MANY OTHER KIDS.
I think I understand where it stems from... you know, the core (HA!) of the problem..
Educators and The Public are under educated and uninformed about what Dyslexia really IS...
Dyslexia is NOT just turning letters and numbers around, or the words bouncing around on the page!
Dyslexia is an ENTIRE Personality.
Dyslexia is being prone to early ear infections, and being "outdoorsy", and highly intuitive, and living OUT LOUD, and having to "get the wiggles out", and seeing things mostly in pictures (not words), and having a HELL of a time reading, writing, or performing simple math, and so so much more!
Dyslexia is, also, skewed in the media. The public is misinformed. The dyslexics we know a lot about, are, naturally going to be famous for something! AND Usually something GOOD!
In this equation having dyslexia equals a GIFT not Evil! Although, it is acknowledged that not everyone becomes successful, but GEEZ how great the potential is!
THIS is HOW dyslexia is thought of!
NOT TO WORRY, there are special classes, learning techniques, and a kinesthetic learning environment to help so you don't accidentally get chewed up, tossed aside.
Wait... What? Those are not funded for.
Dyslexia is too broad and too many people have it?
There is not money for Dyslexia outright!
What there is, is; work-arounds and under-the-radar fixes to get your kids SOME help. This won't truly address the problem, of course,
and will take a lot of time, and forms, and meetings.
Don't Sweat It! You're kid will languish away while we Get That Done!
There are hoops and juggling acts you get to do to, as a caregiver.
It is GREAT FUN!!
There is just SO much you have to do, just to combat dyslexia.
BUT, What happens WHEN there is NOBODY there to do that for them?
Does Evil take over?
Do you just live with the spell?
Do you become just another rotten apple?
BREAK THE SPELL
Ref. MayoClinic.org
OrtonAcademy.org
dyslexia.com
education.com
Tuesday
Driving... for the driving impaired...
When I was kid, and a screwed up driver drove by, We'd flip them off and yell, "Sunday Driver!!"
But, high schools OFFERED IT. It was funded!
It was FREE!
I could afford FREE as a teenager!!
DRIVERS ED IS NO LONGER FUNDED IN ALMOST ALL STATES!!
They stopped it!!
a LONG TIME ago... different states have gotten rid of this funding through the years, and I am not entirely sure when it started, and it depends on your state, but I know in California it was back in the early 90's... if my crappy math skills serve, that was a Generation ago!
SO after taking the readily available and FREE education .
What about Trucks? Trucks passing on the left? Who the fuck are they passing? They're slow to begin with!! AND they stop EVEN SLOWER!! They're also really fucking big and VERY hard to get around.
So that's my starter guide for us while the government ignores us... again...
Seriously, do the right thing yourself at least, bone up on your own drivers education, and get pissed about the right things, and petition your State or government to fix this shit!!
Because,
I want You and I to make it to see another Sunday... just sayin'
p.s. click here for the NY DMV Manual
Click here to find your state
None of us knew what this meant, but it was FUCKING hilarious!!
I still don't know what it means, but figure it has something to do with the driver having their mind on church and their head up their ass.
Lately, it seems, you can't get on the road without nearly being killed by an assortment of "sunday drivers".
The roads have gotten CRAZY. What the heck has happened?
Was it always this way?
I don't think so.
What HAS changed?
Well for one, once again, your government gave up on you!!
In the olden days I took driver's education.
I still don't know what it means, but figure it has something to do with the driver having their mind on church and their head up their ass.
Lately, it seems, you can't get on the road without nearly being killed by an assortment of "sunday drivers".
The roads have gotten CRAZY. What the heck has happened?
Was it always this way?
I don't think so.
What HAS changed?
Well for one, once again, your government gave up on you!!
In the olden days I took driver's education.
IN SCHOOL.
We ALL did.
It was (and is) a REQUIREMENT, if you wanted a license before 18.
It was (and is) a REQUIREMENT, if you wanted a license before 18.
But, high schools OFFERED IT. It was funded!
It was FREE!
I could afford FREE as a teenager!!
DRIVERS ED IS NO LONGER FUNDED IN ALMOST ALL STATES!!
They stopped it!!
a LONG TIME ago... different states have gotten rid of this funding through the years, and I am not entirely sure when it started, and it depends on your state, but I know in California it was back in the early 90's... if my crappy math skills serve, that was a Generation ago!
SO after taking the readily available and FREE education .
We, then, got our permit and drove under the watchful, white knuckled, guidance of our poor, fraught parents or some other licensed victim.
NOWADAYS, if you can't afford drivers training, or don't have time for it OUT of school, people just opt out of early driving and early permits.
You'll just have to wait 'til your 18.
At age 18 you need to take a written and driven test...
But hey, the governnment has made this EASY ... (this is not sarcasm, I wish it were)
Seriously, Don't Worry because you can take it over and over until you pass!!!
The driving test? Don't Worry Again, because you now have as many chances as you like to take the driving test too! You can even try to find a lenient tester if you want!! Easy, easy easy!!
Once this is done you get to strap that 4000 lb. piece of metal to your ass and HAVE AT IT!!
hmm...
Our Cars, these days are, more safe.
Our Roads, these days, are more safe.
Our Drivers.... NOPE.
These uneducated, under-trained, and un-supervised drivers are really freaking me out!!
The roads have turned into a free-for-all!!
It is not CASUAL etiquette to
NOT PASS ON THE RIGHT
it is fucking dangerous, and THE LAW
NOWADAYS, if you can't afford drivers training, or don't have time for it OUT of school, people just opt out of early driving and early permits.
You'll just have to wait 'til your 18.
At age 18 you need to take a written and driven test...
But hey, the governnment has made this EASY ... (this is not sarcasm, I wish it were)
Seriously, Don't Worry because you can take it over and over until you pass!!!
The driving test? Don't Worry Again, because you now have as many chances as you like to take the driving test too! You can even try to find a lenient tester if you want!! Easy, easy easy!!
Once this is done you get to strap that 4000 lb. piece of metal to your ass and HAVE AT IT!!
hmm...
Our Cars, these days are, more safe.
Our Roads, these days, are more safe.
Our Drivers.... NOPE.
These uneducated, under-trained, and un-supervised drivers are really freaking me out!!
The roads have turned into a free-for-all!!
It is not CASUAL etiquette to
NOT PASS ON THE RIGHT
it is fucking dangerous, and THE LAW
SERIOUSLY, DON'T DO IT! Unless you HAVE TOO!!
Pass ONLY on the Left
and then, move the fuck over, for the next guy!
how about closure rates? Does anyone even know what that means anymore?
IT means, if you follow too close, You're likely going to RUN INTO SOMETHING if it stops!! Cars don't run into things well.
Pass ONLY on the Left
and then, move the fuck over, for the next guy!
how about closure rates? Does anyone even know what that means anymore?
IT means, if you follow too close, You're likely going to RUN INTO SOMETHING if it stops!! Cars don't run into things well.
What about Trucks? Trucks passing on the left? Who the fuck are they passing? They're slow to begin with!! AND they stop EVEN SLOWER!! They're also really fucking big and VERY hard to get around.
So that's my starter guide for us while the government ignores us... again...
Seriously, do the right thing yourself at least, bone up on your own drivers education, and get pissed about the right things, and petition your State or government to fix this shit!!
Because,
I want You and I to make it to see another Sunday... just sayin'
p.s. click here for the NY DMV Manual
Click here to find your state
Sunday
Feminism and Shitty Mom's
I know we are all supposed to be all for one and one for all in the old chick department these days. But, what about the shitty moms? Do we just ignore that? As long as you're cool, and your kid is cool, that's cool. I don't think that's cool!!?? Just because you're cool. I'm cool. I'm cool enough to tell my kids FUCK NO! They're cool. They're cool enough to have to settle for nothing less. They're not our cool friends. Their our future leaders and makers(and butchers and bakers and... HA!)
Be cool on your own fucking time...
and
YES We are all for one and one for all, so STOP MAKING US LOOK SO BAD!!
and
it's cool if you fucked up before, but come on now...
Be cool on your own fucking time...
and
YES We are all for one and one for all, so STOP MAKING US LOOK SO BAD!!
and
it's cool if you fucked up before, but come on now...
John Travolta's Ass
I've always had theme songs running through my head. I mean, for whatever situation is at hand I've carried around a couple of snippets of songs in my head the serve as my, in the moment, theme beat. I don't know if everybody does this or if this is just one more thing about myself that is wacky? ANyway, these are what go on in my head and I guess inspire me to keep on movin...
Staying Alive - The Bee Gee's
"I've been kicked around since I was born. Now it's alright. It's okay. And you may look the other way...."
Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple
"Be kind to me or treat me mean. I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine."
Bitch - Meredith Brooks
"I'm a bitch. I'm a lover. I'm a child. I'm a mother. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. I do not feel ashamed"
Beautiful -Written by Linda Perry
Sung By Christina Aguilara
"I am beautiful in every single way. Yes, words can't bring me down. So you don't bring me down today."
It's just easier to stay motivated when you have an image of Vinny Barbarino's tight polyester ass in your mind...
Maybe that's just me too...
Staying Alive - The Bee Gee's
"I've been kicked around since I was born. Now it's alright. It's okay. And you may look the other way...."
Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple
"Be kind to me or treat me mean. I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine."
Bitch - Meredith Brooks
"I'm a bitch. I'm a lover. I'm a child. I'm a mother. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. I do not feel ashamed"
Beautiful -Written by Linda Perry
Sung By Christina Aguilara
"I am beautiful in every single way. Yes, words can't bring me down. So you don't bring me down today."
It's just easier to stay motivated when you have an image of Vinny Barbarino's tight polyester ass in your mind...
Maybe that's just me too...
Saturday
AIDS is not for Santa!!
I'm often perplexed by what is suitable for the kids to watch. I mean Children have ruled country's and fought in wars. Who am I to say whether they can watch a television about such?
I'm their fucking MOTHER that's who!! My kids are wise, and well read, and neat, and interesting. AND I am helping create these rulers of countries and stoppers of war! I expose them, but don't want to over sensitise them, but don't want to shelter them. I try my best and have even looked online for help. This has been to little to no avail. I HAVE found sites where kids... ACTUAL CHILDREN are rating whether or not they should be able to watch certain programming. UM?, this is a bit of the cat watching the canary, now isn't it??!!
Anyway, as much as I want to take advice from YET another child, I think I'll pass. There's gotta be a better way. Then it walked into my kitchen...
My Junior High Kid Said,
"Oh My God Mom, (so and so) asked if a CONDOM CAN PREVENT AIDS in health class today??!!!!
So.... THIS IS IT. My gage.
Junior High kids should flip the fuck out about the idea of anything sex related. They've never used it (even if they're reading about it books), so they don't need to see people fucking it up on the TV.
.... put it this way.... It would be hard to picture a dick* and or vagina* even after they were described to you, but once you've seen them, you'd never forget what that looked like !!
or...
It's like the last Santa Claus... don't let HBO fuck this up for them!!
*dick and vagina shall be referred to as ding ding and peep from this point further
I'm their fucking MOTHER that's who!! My kids are wise, and well read, and neat, and interesting. AND I am helping create these rulers of countries and stoppers of war! I expose them, but don't want to over sensitise them, but don't want to shelter them. I try my best and have even looked online for help. This has been to little to no avail. I HAVE found sites where kids... ACTUAL CHILDREN are rating whether or not they should be able to watch certain programming. UM?, this is a bit of the cat watching the canary, now isn't it??!!
Anyway, as much as I want to take advice from YET another child, I think I'll pass. There's gotta be a better way. Then it walked into my kitchen...
My Junior High Kid Said,
"Oh My God Mom, (so and so) asked if a CONDOM CAN PREVENT AIDS in health class today??!!!!
So.... THIS IS IT. My gage.
Junior High kids should flip the fuck out about the idea of anything sex related. They've never used it (even if they're reading about it books), so they don't need to see people fucking it up on the TV.
.... put it this way.... It would be hard to picture a dick* and or vagina* even after they were described to you, but once you've seen them, you'd never forget what that looked like !!
or...
It's like the last Santa Claus... don't let HBO fuck this up for them!!
*dick and vagina shall be referred to as ding ding and peep from this point further
Til Death Do Us Part
Life is hard. It can really get you down sometimes. It's nice when you have the most important people in life to help you get through it; YOUR FAMILY. Family is there for you. FOR LIFE, or until death, or until the death of the relationship.
I have experienced the death of every family relationship I have ever known except my Married with Children one.
I am currently going through ONE of the hardest times in my life. My health is in the toilet, both with the detox and what got me here in the first place (more luck in the 'ol genes department!!). My finances are FUBR.
I have experienced the death of every family relationship I have ever known except my Married with Children one.
I am currently going through ONE of the hardest times in my life. My health is in the toilet, both with the detox and what got me here in the first place (more luck in the 'ol genes department!!). My finances are FUBR.
This is all causing us to use the CACA out of our vows... AND we had NOT planned on that!! HA!
SO... I've learned to ALWAYS, always, think, deep down, that Family Life always dies. Or at least this is the phobia I've developed for this VERY reason. I know this is a natural feeling. I know it's a naturally SUCK ASS Phobic FEELING.
The good about all of this is... I mean seriously, I'm bumming my own self out at this point!!
The GOOD about all of this is, (besides the fact my husband is STILL HERE??!!!) Is that I have already ridden this bike!! If the ONLY person in life left, who ACTUALLY SIGNED UP FOR THIS SHIT, bailed, I WOULD, and CAN continue on. I've done it. I've done it MANY MANY times before. I can get through having nothing.
There is death and there is life. We have one life. We get to experience many deaths, unfortunately. That's a fucked up deal. This leaves me with the only choice I have left. I get to choose life. I also get to choose how I live MY life.
I CAN and WILL.
I CAN get through the worst life has to offer. I will not wither and die. I will live it WELL for me. I will live it right for my Married with Children family because it IS UNTIL DEATH DO WE PART and I don't think I know how to do do that?
The good about all of this is... I mean seriously, I'm bumming my own self out at this point!!
The GOOD about all of this is, (besides the fact my husband is STILL HERE??!!!) Is that I have already ridden this bike!! If the ONLY person in life left, who ACTUALLY SIGNED UP FOR THIS SHIT, bailed, I WOULD, and CAN continue on. I've done it. I've done it MANY MANY times before. I can get through having nothing.
There is death and there is life. We have one life. We get to experience many deaths, unfortunately. That's a fucked up deal. This leaves me with the only choice I have left. I get to choose life. I also get to choose how I live MY life.
I CAN and WILL.
I CAN get through the worst life has to offer. I will not wither and die. I will live it WELL for me. I will live it right for my Married with Children family because it IS UNTIL DEATH DO WE PART and I don't think I know how to do do that?
Thursday
I'm F*cking Offended!
I really like to cuss. I cuss in my brain, at parties, around adults, and when I'm pissed at my kids. If you're offended, fuck off! I have strong feelings and emotions and VOCABULARY (I'm dyslexic, it's MY strength!) I know there is a time and place for it. If you are offended by my language and can't hear my content, MOVE THE FUCK ON. I am not in a crowded room. I am in a private location. You chose to come here!!! .... p.s. thanks for that, That was really smart of you :)
What's your point?
I've been asked, "what's your point"? It's a natural question when you start a blog, sure.
My point, is like most. My point is to win the Powerball and become fucking rich and shove it in all your faces!!
Woohoo!! I'll let whoever believes in me from the beginning "hang on" and do my dirty work though.
Next, I'm going to continue on with the American dream and become famous!!!
Okay, brass tacks reasons. I don't have a "POINT." I have a life I live. I live it the best way I know how. I got here even though my upbringing and circumstances liberally allowed for a different ending. I know MY priorities are what got me here.
I'm tired of our countries priorities being so out of whack! It's not only wrong, it's embarrassing!
I'm tired of being scared and ashamed to raised my children in this country that I love so dearly. Who decided that being rich, famous, and beautiful are the MOST fucking important things in this world? The MOST important things in this world BY far are (IN THIS ORDER)
1. Children
2. Health
3. Community
4. Education
5. Safety
6. Travel
7. Entertainment
There is a place for entertainment and enjoyment of things in our lives. I mean, I enjoy the shit out of some shit! (note: I would never make or take entertainment to the detriment of someone else though)
My point, is like most. My point is to win the Powerball and become fucking rich and shove it in all your faces!!
Woohoo!! I'll let whoever believes in me from the beginning "hang on" and do my dirty work though.
Next, I'm going to continue on with the American dream and become famous!!!
Okay, brass tacks reasons. I don't have a "POINT." I have a life I live. I live it the best way I know how. I got here even though my upbringing and circumstances liberally allowed for a different ending. I know MY priorities are what got me here.
I'm tired of our countries priorities being so out of whack! It's not only wrong, it's embarrassing!
I'm tired of being scared and ashamed to raised my children in this country that I love so dearly. Who decided that being rich, famous, and beautiful are the MOST fucking important things in this world? The MOST important things in this world BY far are (IN THIS ORDER)
1. Children
2. Health
3. Community
4. Education
5. Safety
6. Travel
7. Entertainment
There is a place for entertainment and enjoyment of things in our lives. I mean, I enjoy the shit out of some shit! (note: I would never make or take entertainment to the detriment of someone else though)
But we have become so disconnected. We are afraid or don't take the time to come together and be entertained by
community,
education,
safety (How the hell is it OKAY for us to think it's wrong for a child to be out at night by them self? Touch a child?! ONCE: JAIL FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE MOTHERFUCKER, that's my philosophy),
travel has become expensive because of supply and demand,
and entertainment is crazy expensive because we have scared ourselves into someone else hands... bravo!
I want the focus to shift in my country. I live my life for my children, my community, and my country, and the world. I think everyone should.
community,
education,
safety (How the hell is it OKAY for us to think it's wrong for a child to be out at night by them self? Touch a child?! ONCE: JAIL FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE MOTHERFUCKER, that's my philosophy),
travel has become expensive because of supply and demand,
and entertainment is crazy expensive because we have scared ourselves into someone else hands... bravo!
I want the focus to shift in my country. I live my life for my children, my community, and my country, and the world. I think everyone should.
Wednesday
I hope she hears me
I really wish I would have had a chance to get to know my mom before she died. I guess that is not what I wish. I wish I would have wanted my mom to live long enough to let go of a lot or all of her anger. She was slowly getting there before she suddenly died.
My Mommy fucking hated me. She fucking hated me from around the time I was 8. She started telling me when I was 12. It sucked. She didn't say it every day or the same way. She just kinda showed it and then other times said things like, "Why would you live somewhere where nobody likes you and nobody wants you?"
She also loved me. She loved me so hard and fierce. She worked SEVEN days a week at times just to support me and my 5 other siblings. She would have never given up on us. She was always there, somehow, when you really really needed her. She would go to hell and back for us and did.
My relationship with her was complicated. HA!
Anyway, now that I have children I wish I could have my mother around. I know she would have softened up and let go of a lot of anger. I don't have any toward her. I would love for my daughters to know what an extraordinary strong little gal she was. She wasn't so much a bitch as a scared dog. My poor Mommy, I miss her and love her.
My Mommy fucking hated me. She fucking hated me from around the time I was 8. She started telling me when I was 12. It sucked. She didn't say it every day or the same way. She just kinda showed it and then other times said things like, "Why would you live somewhere where nobody likes you and nobody wants you?"
She also loved me. She loved me so hard and fierce. She worked SEVEN days a week at times just to support me and my 5 other siblings. She would have never given up on us. She was always there, somehow, when you really really needed her. She would go to hell and back for us and did.
My relationship with her was complicated. HA!
Anyway, now that I have children I wish I could have my mother around. I know she would have softened up and let go of a lot of anger. I don't have any toward her. I would love for my daughters to know what an extraordinary strong little gal she was. She wasn't so much a bitch as a scared dog. My poor Mommy, I miss her and love her.
Music to my mind
I am a ridiculous fan of music. I am on a never ending pursuit of music. If I hear of a good band or artist I will look them up. If I hear a good song I will find it. If I hear a song because of a song, I will find another song and then that will make me find another song and then I will find an artist and then I will find... this process can be complicated. Anyway, During the weekend Hurricane Katrina hit Kanye West was on the cover of Time Magazine, so I read about him. He sounded interesting and when I heard his music, I liked what I heard. I mean, the song "Heartless", seriously?? Fucking. Rad. Song.
So, We were away @ a B&B in Albuquerque getting our first born checked and treated for Celiac Disease (totally another story), but this is why I was reading about Kanye and had really no idea about Hurricane Katrina until I got home after our weekend. I became a bona fide Kanye West fan as of the THAT VERY WEEKEND!! Then all of a sudden!!!
Kanye West is an ass.
He fucking called The President of the United States of America a RACIST on NATIONAL TELEVISION!
He's NOT some silly protester. He IS a paid musician representing himself. He is a paid representative of that television station at that moment. He is a paid personality representing the cause to help the people suffering from a natural disaster.
He got beat up in the media A LITTLE??? WHAT??!! This was followed by the fucking-stupid-as-fuck adage "no publicity is bad publicity" subsequently coming true and him becoming more famous. For what? Being an asshole? What? Who started selling that? Oh, that's right, THE SELLERS. Whose buying it though?
Anyway, I understand his ability to plug along as a musician. He's talented. I do NOT understand his ability to become a mogul? He is no one to follow! He does not say controversial or interesting things. He says inflammatory, racist, stupid things. He makes some great music. He makes some stinkers, "Bound 2" side by side with the Seth Rogan, James Franco split is some of the funniest shit out there!
So here we are present day. KW GETS to go to the grammy's because the grammy's are, on the face, a TOTAL joke. On this not so normal occasion, BECK a true artist gets what is deserved and is rewarded for it on the grammys. KW then does what he does, and says inflammatory, racist, stupid things about BECK getting an award instead of Beyonce and how the grammy's need to stop playing with the people and start respecting true artistry? OMG! BECK is a ridiculously, fantastically, talented artist who does not even come close to getting recognised enough, even if he'd want that. Beyonce sings and dances and gets recognised all the time, and so does the idiot KW. They both have talent, but they are not the one and only of music. NOT BY A LONG SHOT. Sorry to throw B in there, but facts a fact. There is AMAZING music being made out there and it IS killing what is on our stank radio. BECK is up there with that amazingness. The grammys need to stop playing with US and stop putting famous talent out there shaking there spruced up shit and bring on the TRUE MUSIC.
Anyway, it seems like people are finally getting as sick of KW as I am after this latest. I hope so. If this were so this would be music to my ears. If not, I'll keep marching on with BECK in my ears instead.
So, We were away @ a B&B in Albuquerque getting our first born checked and treated for Celiac Disease (totally another story), but this is why I was reading about Kanye and had really no idea about Hurricane Katrina until I got home after our weekend. I became a bona fide Kanye West fan as of the THAT VERY WEEKEND!! Then all of a sudden!!!
Kanye West is an ass.
He fucking called The President of the United States of America a RACIST on NATIONAL TELEVISION!
He's NOT some silly protester. He IS a paid musician representing himself. He is a paid representative of that television station at that moment. He is a paid personality representing the cause to help the people suffering from a natural disaster.
He got beat up in the media A LITTLE??? WHAT??!! This was followed by the fucking-stupid-as-fuck adage "no publicity is bad publicity" subsequently coming true and him becoming more famous. For what? Being an asshole? What? Who started selling that? Oh, that's right, THE SELLERS. Whose buying it though?
Anyway, I understand his ability to plug along as a musician. He's talented. I do NOT understand his ability to become a mogul? He is no one to follow! He does not say controversial or interesting things. He says inflammatory, racist, stupid things. He makes some great music. He makes some stinkers, "Bound 2" side by side with the Seth Rogan, James Franco split is some of the funniest shit out there!
So here we are present day. KW GETS to go to the grammy's because the grammy's are, on the face, a TOTAL joke. On this not so normal occasion, BECK a true artist gets what is deserved and is rewarded for it on the grammys. KW then does what he does, and says inflammatory, racist, stupid things about BECK getting an award instead of Beyonce and how the grammy's need to stop playing with the people and start respecting true artistry? OMG! BECK is a ridiculously, fantastically, talented artist who does not even come close to getting recognised enough, even if he'd want that. Beyonce sings and dances and gets recognised all the time, and so does the idiot KW. They both have talent, but they are not the one and only of music. NOT BY A LONG SHOT. Sorry to throw B in there, but facts a fact. There is AMAZING music being made out there and it IS killing what is on our stank radio. BECK is up there with that amazingness. The grammys need to stop playing with US and stop putting famous talent out there shaking there spruced up shit and bring on the TRUE MUSIC.
Anyway, it seems like people are finally getting as sick of KW as I am after this latest. I hope so. If this were so this would be music to my ears. If not, I'll keep marching on with BECK in my ears instead.
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